In a season centered on gratitude, it can be easy to focus on the big things we’re thankful for: family, careers, homes, health, and meaningful milestones. But according to Queen Ajiere, Director of Clinical Quality/Operations at Zoelife Psychiatric Services, cultivating a thankful mind often begins with something much smaller: simply noticing what is already around us.
“Gratitude doesn’t require grandeur,” Queen explains. It can be as ordinary as waking up with a clear head, enjoying a meal, feeling the warmth of the sun or appreciating the ability to move through the day. When we intentionally notice these everyday experiences, we begin training our minds to recognize what is working rather than automatically focusing on what is missing.
That shift doesn’t require ignoring life’s challenges or pretending everything is positive. Instead, gratitude can coexist with difficult emotions. Someone can be overwhelmed by a busy season and still appreciate a supportive friend. They can be grieving while finding comfort in a familiar tradition or be worried about the future while recognizing something good about today.
Mindfulness can help create space for those moments. Rather than adding another item to an already-full to-do list, mindfulness asks us to pause and pay attention to the present moment, whether it’s the sound of a friend’s laughter, a warm hug, a quiet cup of coffee, or sitting down after a long day.
For Queen, these small moments can become a meaningful practice. Gratitude is not necessarily about waiting for something extraordinary to happen; it is about becoming more aware of the ordinary moments that are already happening.
That practice can become particularly meaningful during stressful seasons. Queen describes gratitude as building our “internal reserves”, an inner bank that can help sustain us when life becomes difficult. Regular moments of connection, rest, joy, and appreciation can replenish those reserves and help us respond to challenges with greater steadiness.
One simple way to begin is by choosing a moment each day to identify something specific to appreciate. It could be a person, an experience, a physical sensation or something as simple as having a few quiet minutes. Writing it down, sharing it with someone else or simply pausing to acknowledge it can make the practice more intentional.
Sharing moments with others and serving those who need support can also cultivate gratitude. A conversation, a helping hand or an act of kindness can turn an ordinary moment into something meaningful. Sometimes, recognizing what we have can also make us more aware of what we are able to give.
Importantly, gratitude should never become a command to ignore genuine struggles. Difficult emotions are real, and sometimes the healthiest choice is reaching out for support. For those navigating a particularly difficult season, Queen encourages people to look for a small sliver of hope while also giving themselves permission to acknowledge what hurts.
This November, perhaps the invitation is simply to slow down long enough to notice: the people we love, the moments that bring us joy and the ordinary blessings we might otherwise overlook.
“Gratitude is not about ignoring life’s challenges; it is about becoming more aware of the ordinary moments that bring meaning.”