If you could give advice to your younger self

Our favorite advise from some of our local ladies on what they would tell their younger selves.

Tamara Smith - 

Mom, Wife, Business Owner Amazing Lemons Boutique in Downtown Castle Rock Historic District

Don’t take life too seriously, leave room to have some fun! Do what makes you happy, not what someone else’s version of happy is. Don’t waste your time caring about what other people think of you. The right people will love you for the amazing person you are. Travel and see the world while you can. You can learn great things from people of different backgrounds.

Meg Lang - 

2020 Castle Rock Lifestyle's Publication Cover WOMAN, Unicorn (or on the serious side…baseball junkie bean counter with a passion to coach small business owners to achieve limitless goals)

In a world of hustle, remember to take a moment to pause.  Close your eyes, breathe in the air around you and understand that where you are at in that moment is where you are meant to be.  There will be moments you won’t understand, individuals who become apart of your life like seasons, and you will question but yet realize they are all steps on a journey to get you where you need to be.  Patience is crucial and will test you to your limits because you don’t know how to maneuver past a focus that consumes you.  However, in time you will see that all the pieces of many moments come together and life will become beyond beautiful because of what is within yourself and the drive in your soul.  Simply because of who you are and the deep down altruistic reasons for why you do what you do, you will realize you are not alone.  An amazing tribe is waiting for you and they will be there for you, challenge you, comfort you, and beyond more than words love you.  Above all else take in the ebbs and flows, climb mountains, enjoy the valleys, and you always have a compass at your center to guide you to your true north.  

Deby Williams

Business Owner – Farmers Insurance in Sedalia, since January 3, 2003.

If I had a chance to council my younger self I would say to be in control of your happiness. I think it’s so easy to get stuck in a job and have a company tell you where you can live, the time it will take you to do your job and what to wear. I love having flexible time to work with our Farmers customers in our small, rural community. I love the beautiful scenery and nice weather (most of the time) we have in Sedalia. I can sneak out of the office when I want and volunteer, eat at our local restaurants, or go home at lunch and spend time with my husband. I wear my blue jeans everyday (not just on Fridays), because that’s what we do in a small town. Another little bit of advice… not everyone is going to like you, and that’s ok! Be proud of who you are and comfortable in your own skin. Your happiness is in your hands.

Melanie Lee

Mother, Wife, Real Estate Agent for Coldwell Banker

I tell my daughter on a regular basis to take a deep breath, work hard, be honest and it will all work out in the end.  When you are 19 years old the choices seem endless, and the paths seem like Amazonian jungles that you alone have to machete hack.  Looking back now, so many things that were scary or caused undue stress became non-events.  So many things that I counted on dissipated in a blink of an eye. My mother’s mantra at the age of 83 is the same as when I was a child; “Take care of yourself and those around you and you will live a happy, full life.”  I am personally still working on finding margin in my life to take a deep breath and take care of myself and those around me, but I know that God has machete hacked the path to so much joy and fulfillment.  My advice to my younger self and to my daughter is to put on bug spray and sunscreen while you fight through the jungle, you will find incredible undiscovered beauty and surprises along the path.  And watch out for snakes!   

Lesley Frohnhoefer

Proud Daughter and Branch Manager of Premier Members Credit Union Castle Rock 

So something my older self would definitely tell my younger self if I  could go back in time would be: Honestly listen to every word your mother says, and take all advice she gives you. No one cares for you, loves you, or wants anything more for you than she does! Believe me no one will ever have better advice than she.. When she says don’t cut bangs, it’s not a joke! It’s because she knows you will look awful! Don’t do it! When she tells you to work harder now so you work less later BELIEVE HER! She only wants to see you happy and doing what you love.  Lastly remember to always be thankful for what she has done for you and what she continues to do.

Julie Borrego

Wife, community star and Owner of Club Pilates Castle Rock 

I would tell my younger self to be more confident and trust your instincts. Don't be afraid to follow your dreams and do the things that you wouldn't dare. Know that you have value and never sell yourself short. That the worst of times are usually followed by the best of times, the most important thing in life is love and don't be so hard on yourself, you are doing great!

Tiffany Ann White - 

COVER 2021 WOMAN of Castle Rock Lifestyle Publication , Single supermom and local business owner/entrepreneur. She enjoys hiking, camping, fishing … and a nip of Bourbon. 

I guess most folks don’t like getting older. As I look down the barrel of my mid-forties, however, I find myself completely STOKED. I have learned a lot in my 40+ years on this planet, and I finally feel like I can take that knowledge and utilize it for the next 40 (and beyond!). I see young moms all around me, and I picture myself at 30, with five sons under 10, and think of what I would have liked to have known. Part of life is just living and learning as we go, making mistakes and finding our way. If I could go back in time and impart some advice to my younger self, I don’t know if my younger self would have even accepted it. (I tend to be fairly headstrong … which is a reminder to me where my kids get it from.) So when compiling all of the things I’ve learned, the obstacles I’ve overcome, and the mindsets I’ve recalibrated, I've come to one conclusion that I think my younger self might accept and take to heart:

If a tiny little voice inside of your head tells you something … LISTEN. Even if you can’t “prove” it’s correct, even if you can’t justify its validity, even if you’re put down for it or made fun of for it … LISTEN to it anyway. 

So to the youngins out there, my advice would be to take seriously that innate sense we’re born with, whether it’s our mama bear heart, our feisty business sense, or that quiet ‘lil voice inside our minds … Just listen. 

Becky Goodwater 

Mamaprenuer, V.P. of Rock Design Group & Brand Ambassador for Health & Wellness Company

"You do You" is the most important life lesson from my two year old that is now 13."

You can do anything, you can dream it, you can do it and let no one break your spirit. Stay strong, bold, outspoken, active, healthy, funny, and be beautiful inside and out!  Trust yourself and your instincts. Women's intuition is a thing. You need to be kind, gracious, and forgiving to yourself. You are not going to be perfect, nor will you make all the right choices, but you are doing the best you can.  Forgive yourself because that is how forgiveness works. Be willing to say NO!  Step out of your comfort zone, try something new and be willing to know when to call it quits. Be a friend to all, but don't lose yourself in that friendship or relationship. Make a dream board of how you see your life and dream it, don't be afraid to change it, as you change.  YOU ARE WORTHY of having accomplishments, failures, secrets, goals, challenges, adventures, a nap, your birthday. Take time for yourself and celebrate you! You are good enough, quit trying to be more and laugh so hard you almost pee your pants.  " YOU BECOME YOU" 

Andrea Peterson

MTA, CMP – business owner, educator, passionate pursuer of PURPOSE

I would tell my younger self not to be so focused on perfection and so risk-adverse. My photo depicts National Honor Society membership and I was also my high school class Valedictorian. Unfortunately, that quest for perfection, and being the top and best, has carried over into many areas of my life where it did not belong. Yes, the work ethic and tenacity involved have served me well; yet during my formative years, I did not readily allow myself to make mistakes. It took me many, many years to learn that by taking chances, especially where the likelihood of making mistakes is high, is actually how I could blossom and bloom into a much stronger, valid, greater version of myself! As an example, I was offered the safe opportunity to enroll in an MBA program, paid by my employer. I opted to focus on a more specific degree and chose the distinct area of my passion: events & meetings management. My boss thought I was crazy, and then we were all laid off! The degree paved the way for a reinvention into a teaching position in higher education, requiring those unique credentials. Denying perfectionism, for doing the safe and “right” thing, and taking that risk, has led to immense personal satisfaction and reward.

Cindy Welch

Local Watercolor Artist 

 If I could say something to my younger self it would be this: You are uniquely and wonderfully made, just the way you are. It is awesome to set lofty goals and strive for greatness. But along the journey, love yourself right where you’re at, every step of the way. Respect your elders and look up to your mentors, but be yourself because there is only one you! Sometimes you will feel inadequate. You might feel like others know more, do more, succeed more. . . But the reality of life is that we are all a work in progress. Continue to learn and grow, not just as a child, but through your whole life. Celebrate your successes, learn from your mistakes, and don’t beat yourself up for them. There will always bee good times and bad. Joy and hardship. But in the end, the love you give and receive is the most important thing in life. Be the best daughter, wife, mom, and friend that you can be. Follow your heart and your passions and some day you will get a chance to use your love of art to bring joy to others. Life passes in the blink of an eye, so most importantly, cherish every minute of it. 

Chelsea Husum

President & Owner, American GPR 

Be fearless and fierce.  Keep moving forward, no matter what.  Unapologetically stay true to yourself and what you believe in.  Always be kind to yourself. If you work hard and stay positive, things will work out.  Do things that bring you joy and focus on your day to day happiness.  Always do what you say you will do and stay true to your word. Surround yourself with other strong badass women who support and cheer you on.  Be the girl who lifts other women up and celebrates their successes. Choose friends who you can be your true self around.  You’ll have fewer true friends as you get older, but the quality of friendship they offer is worth so much more.  Take the initiative to continuously revise and edit your life and make it a life you love.  You can reinvent yourself as many times as you want to. You will have people hurt you throughout life, but learn from these experiences and continue to grow.  Believe in the miracles and beauty this life has to offer.  Know that you have the ability to create the life of your dreams! Remember, life is a celebration and we are not guaranteed tomorrow.  Always eat the cupcake and drink the champagne!  

Lisa Miles

More commonly known as “Miss Lisa” the Director of Operations for BURLY Brewing Company, an American Craft Beer Brewery 

I would tell my younger self to let go of the expectations and worry which drove me between the ages of 20 and 40. To accept each day as it dawns, to be thankful for being able to breathe, to smile, to read, and to be able to effectively communicate. I would assure my younger self that embracing each day, individually, as it arrives, is the key to personal, spiritual, and professional success and peace. 

Melissa Clement

Self-proclaimed FOODIE, Owner of Mercantile by Farmgirl Foods in Historic Downtown Castle Rock 

I often think of what I would tell my younger self about everything from love to work to family to life itself. I think that when it comes down to it, I’d tell myself the same things I tell my boys: “take risks and be brave. You can do anything you put your mind to as long as you stay focused on your goals. Enjoy ALL of your life because it’s the only one you’ll get. Buy the good wine, take the vacation and experience the world. Do NOT listen to people who don’t encourage you and help you to grow. Remember that your life isn’t perfect, and neither are you, but you are perfect for the life you have.” I have several inspirational signs throughout my house to keep me motivated, and my favorites is “God didn't promise days without pain, laughter without sorrow, nor sun without rain...but He did promise strength for the day, comfort for the tears, and light for the way.” What I’ve tried to do is remember that even when I’m feeling defeated, I am stronger for the losses I’ve experienced, and will always continue to be optimistic because I see how far I’ve come and revel in the fact that I really am living my dream.

Amber Dinh

Founder of Facing Homelessness Denver

Looking back on my life, I’ve come to the realization that I’ve wasted a ton of time trying to make other people happy. If I could go back and tell myself one thing, it would be: If you choose to live a life filled with external and sometimes unreasonable expectations, there is no space for your own happiness. (In finding it/ in living it/ in keeping it.) 

I encourage you to consider today being the first day to choose a new life for yourself. Say no to the toxic family get-togethers. Say yes to letting the kids eat chicken nuggets for the third meal today. Ask for help in getting a task done that seems overwhelming and say no thank you to things that don’t bring you happiness, growth or peace. 

The second piece of advice I’d shake into myself sooner is that anyone can accomplish big things for themselves and for their community. It doesn’t matter who you are, with hustle and heart your capabilities are limitless.

Nancie Lewis

Wife, Daughter, Sister, Dog Mom, BEST Friend TO ALL  and Business Owner of CRUSH WINE BAR

If I could jump in the way-back machine, go back in time and give my younger self one piece of advice, it would be to stand firm in your convictions and not let others write your narrative. Open yourself up to inspiration, but not manipulation. In simpler words, you know the difference between right and wrong - do what’s right to the best of our ability. I love and try to live by the old adage, “People will forget what you said and they’ll forget what you did, but they’ll never forget how you made them feel". Surround yourself with people that lift you up and give those that don’t bring you joy the opportunity to build their own tribe elsewhere. Don’t be afraid to unload certain relationships throughout life, it’s okay ( I promise) as it makes room for the people that will end up being a healthy part of your life forever. Also, don’t worry so much about what you look like - you’re beautiful now and you’ll continue to be beautiful (maybe wear a little more sunscreen). Oh and one more thing, you’re going to marry an amazing man and have an incredible life.

Melissa Rufenacht

Inaugural Cover Issue of Castle Rock Lifestyle Publication Premiere Issue 2019, 45 year old mom, investor, philanthropist and lover of life.

If I could go way back and tell my younger self some advice this is what I would say. Just be authentically you and don’t let others dim your light because of their own insecurities. Be true to yourself and chase after your dreams without fear and hesitation. You are enough, always have been, always will be. Honor and admire everything about yourself and I mean everything... especially the things you don’t like and think you need to change. Life is short so live it bold and full of love every second of every day. Don’t change who you are to fit someone else’s mold of what they think you should be. Let people know when they have hurt you and don’t excuse their behavior but do forgive them and move forward. Always be honest about what is best for you and never feel guilty for taking care of yourself first. Trust Gods plan for your life and never doubt his unconditional love. Live your life for you and do it in style with a smile. 

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