Heartbroken, devastated and shocked, my mother looked at me not even three hours after my dad passed away and said, “You’re going on your trip.”
She wasn’t talking about just any trip. It was THE TRIP. The trip I had been dreaming of since I was a child-AFRICA!
Two weeks later, I packed up my grief and sweet memories along with two 49.9-pound suitcases and boarded a plane to Kenya.
And I want to tell you all about it.
But I want to tell you about it as if we are old friends visiting over a cup of coffee (well, I don’t drink coffee..so a Diet Coke).
I wasn’t seeking out a trip to Africa last fall. I was in the midst of grieving my firstborn leaving for college-yes, I know that sounds super dramatic, but that is the only way to describe it. My best friend, Margaret, emailed me one day and asked if I could write a letter of recommendation for a mission trip with our church. Africa? Without me? Not a chance!
The deadline had passed, but God orchestrated a way for me to go-He knew what was coming and how much I would need to be there.
Our church’s team of eight partnered with a team from a church in Kansas, flying halfway across the world to support our missionaries from all over Africa. We spent months preparing lessons and activities for the missionary children packing eight 50-pound suitcases with balls, paper, crayons, snacks, glue guns, popsicle sticks, and goody bags for all the families with things they miss from the states-the most wanted items being cake mix and taco seasoning!
Africa!
I had a lot of time to think during the daunting, 24-hour journey. In my head I kept saying “My dad died. He DIED. And, I am in AFRICA, and I won’t get to tell him about it when I get back.” Oh, but the pure vastness and wonder I was about to experience calmed those heavy thoughts.
Our African adventure started with a safari in the Mara Naboisho Conservancy bordering the Maasai Mara National Reserve. From the moment we entered, all the worries and distractions melted away as we were transported to this magical place of awe and wonder.
It sounds silly, but the theme song from The Lion King was on repeat in my head as we drove into the conservancy. (And maybe coming out of my mouth a little too, much annoying Margaret.)
“It’s the circle of life
and it moves us all through despair and hope
Through faith and love
‘Til we find our place on the path unwinding
in the circle of life.”
We were instantly immersed into the animals’ natural habitats, visitors fortunate enough to have a front row seat to the circle of life.
My deep grief was met with great hope as I saw so much new life! Babies! Babies everywhere-hippo babies, zebra babies, hyena babies, lion babies, and I even got excited and I scared our guide nearly to death squealing to look at a simple little lamb which I could totally see in Birmingham, Ala. But babies, y’all!
This is a good time to pause and tell you that I am obsessed with animals and taking pictures. So imagine the great joy I had when we arrived at our safari camp, Saruni Leopard Hill, to see giraffes walking past our “glamping tent” and monkeys and baboons showing off their babies as we ate our meals.
My favorite day of the safari was waking up before the sun and heading out to find the most majestic pride of lions welcoming the day. Two baby cubs were “roughhousing” as my daddy would say, and the king and his “lioness of the hour” were hanging out side-by-side ignoring all of us gawking at them. The king was like the Great and Powerful Oz and it’s if he said to his pride of 30-plus lions, “Pay no attention to the stalkers in the jeeps.”
As we drove up to a nearby area of thick shrubberies and trees, we heard a lion roaring and the trees shaking. As the chaos commenced in the bushes, groups of four, five, and six lions were gathered, unfazed by the commotion and by us. We waited patiently to see what was happening behind that tree. Minutes later, a huge, domineering male lion appeared with a freshly killed baby zebra.
Circle of life.
I thought I would feel sad at this sight, but it was eerily beautiful (and gross, of course). As we watched the lion enjoy his kill, about eight young lions surrounded him, pawing at him for just a little taste. The little lions waited patiently with mannerisms so similar to a dog waiting for a treat. The male lion would eventually share his kill with the pride, but he had first dibs and wasn’t afraid to let them know it!
There were four of us in our jeep with our guide, Solomon. As we bumped along the savanna finding different animals, we would make up a dialogue of the animals’ lives. “I think those two lions are just ‘talking.’ Well, maybe they are dating because he licked her ear?” Solomon was so good to put up with us. We laughed a lot, and it was good for my soul!
The vastness of this beautiful place cannot be seen through a photograph. Words fail to describe the beauty of God’s creation.
The animals are magnificent. The giraffes and zebras are plentiful and seem the most gentle. The hippo families are large with so many babies with an odor that will knock you out. The elephants are so intriguing to watch as they intricately wrap their strong trunks around the grass, then use their foot to help uproot this yummy snack.
The leopard is discreet and intelligent, lurking in the shadows. He made us wait over an hour to see him. He had hidden his kill in a tree and was waiting until nightfall to enjoy his dinner. Meanwhile, hyenas were circling just hoping for one little morsel to drop from the tree.
Observing all of God’s creatures in their natural habitat was an awesome reminder that every living thing was created for a purpose. Human beings are no different. We were created for a purpose, and even in death, there is a purpose.
Each morning of the trip, I received the sweetest surprise-mail delivered on my pillow. My dear friend Margaret knew this would be a tough trip for me, so she orchestrated mail call every single day from precious friends and family back home encouraging me, praying for me, and begging me not to pack a lion cub in my suitcase or get arrested for trying to pet one.
These days we all seem skeptical of other people, but sometimes people are angels here on earth, here to lift us up and help carry our burdens when the weight of grief and pain is crushing our souls.
Speaking of amazing people, we had the privilege of being invited into the village and home of a local Maasi tribe. As we arrived at their village, we were met by about 20 Maasi men and women dressed in traditional clothing dancing and singing. They even grabbed our hands, let us don their handmade jewelry and dance with them. This traditional dance was followed by a jumping contest among the single men. The one who jumps the highest should be the one who catches the eye of a Maasi woman.
The Maasi people live life completely different than us-no running water or electricity. Their homes are modest, mud huts with one tiny window. They live very simply yet exude joy and gratitude for what they have.
After four days of a magical safari and hospitality from the Maasi people, we packed up and headed to our next destination to support our African missionaries and their families. That day was my daddy’s birthday.
Oh, I wanted to tell him about the lions and how close we were to all the animals! I wanted to tell him I thought about that time we made an audition tape to be on The Amazing Race, and what it would have been like to experience Africa with him! I just wanted to say “Happy Birthday, Daddy! I love you!” just One. More. Time.
God provided a sweet day of laughter and sharing funny stories about my dad as we traveled to our next destination to support our African missionaries. It was such perfect timing to experience the grandeur and excitement of the safari because my heart was so full and ready to go and serve.
My first letter at our new destination was from my daughter. She wrote the following verse from Isaiah 6:8 and added my name, and tears of pure joy and peace filled my eyes:
“Then I heard the voice of the Lord saying, ‘Whom shall I send? And who will go for us?’ And I said, ‘Here I am. Send Ruth Bean.’” Ruth Bean will go!
My heart is still broken, but the incredible experiences I had in Africa helped heal my heart and realize that I can live in a world where grief and joy can coexist.