Have you ever watched one of those feel-good sisterhood movies and thought, “Where’s my sisterhood?” Most of us think of making friends as happenstance—a serendipitous accident. This does happen, and some people do have a group of friends they’ve stuck with over the years. Maybe you did too, but life changed. Big moves, busy careers, and starting families can make it hard to make and maintain the close relationships we need as women. What if we could take a shortcut and start our own blockbuster sisterhood right now?
Built, Not Found
Meet my sisterhood. It was born of the intentionality of one person, “T,” connecting those placed in her life by coincidence or proximity with the mindset, “You’re here, I’m here. Let’s do life together.” No prerequisites to interest, background, beliefs, status, or culture—just the commonality of womanhood. “T” proactively extended friendship to other women and invested her time and care toward them. Some have known each other for years, even since youth, but most were gathered up along the way. She did this by hosting events, often including people she barely knew. And they came. And they keep coming.
We go where we feel wanted and valued and cared for. We don’t need to have anything in common to give or receive that. The mindset to build sisterhoods and to build stronger communities is “Who can I be a friend to?” Not “Where can I find a friend?” We check in on, pray for, listen to, and show up for each other. We are still getting acquainted, but we’re going deeper with birthday celebrations, lunch dates, pedicures, game nights, shopping trips, and message groups that keep us interacting regularly.
Strength in Differences
The group is comprised of women with diverse interests, experiences, perspectives, and beliefs: Capitalists and tree huggers; designated drivers and committed fermentation fans; “good girls,” “bad girls,” God lovers, and ghost hunters; authors, dreamers, and pragmatists; thrifters and the aspirationally posh; health food nuts and junk food junkies; married, widowed, and single; entrepreneurs, career women, and homemakers; all education and income levels, and a melting pot of cultural experiences.
These differences don’t separate us. They make us interesting. They make us stronger. And maybe along the way, we discover we have more in common than we thought.
Our communities need more sisterhoods like this.
Visit www.karen-laine.com to learn more about Karen.
5 Ingredients to Starting Your Own Sisterhood
Invitation - Start with low pressure events. Coffee meets, playdates, mom walks, or even something at your home like a block party. Graduate to more structured events as you build.
Inclusion - Cast a wide net. Neighbors, women from work or activities (and their friends). Just invite!
Persistence - Keep planning and inviting. Some people need several invites before they let their guard down.
Simplicity - Set the stage for meaningful interaction. BYO snacks by the fire pit, Saturday coffee, a book club, crafting, or potluck game night are all easy, low-cost bonding opportunities.
Nurture - Keep communications flowing with a message group but interact with members individually too. Post frequently and plan the next event ASAP.