I was a walking fireball around this time last year. I had recently separated from my husband and moved back to the East Bay with my kids after a two-year stint living in Santa Barbara (we had previously lived in Martinez).
Having grown up in Oakland, my village was in the Bay Area.
After the move, the accumulated anger, not just at my ex-husband, but at life, was intense.
And anger is not an emotion I’m comfortable sitting with because I consider myself an optimist, a creative problem-solver, an adaptable adult who has lived and traveled to many places, always finding my footing.
But when one of life’s biggest curveballs, i.e., divorce, pulls the rug out from under your feet, it can make you very, very mad.
I knew the healthiest way to navigate this angry phase was to draw on my self-care toolbox as much as possible.
It was hard to focus on my well-being with all the emotional overwhelm and supporting my kids, who were also grieving.
But whenever anger crept in, my heart raced and my jaw clenched. I needed to get it out of my body, I wanted to scream, I needed to punch something.
Scrolling Instagram one day, the algorithm nabbed me yet again when I saw an ad for a kickboxing gym in Walnut Creek.
Kickboxing had worked wonders for releasing angst decades before, not to mention it’s an awesome full-body workout. I wondered if it would do the same in my 40s.
With a mix of cardio, HIIT, strength training, mobility, and kickboxing classes, KickHouse promises its classes are for all fitness levels.
With eight different class types to choose from, I signed up for my first free class called “Classic Kick.”
A text message appeared telling me to arrive 30 minutes before class to meet with “my coach” and get prepared.
Walking past the gym’s windows outside, I saw large, white leather punching bags staggered around an open gym format.
Nervous and excited, I was welcomed by a couple of smiling faces, one of whom was my coach, who provided me with a pair of rental gloves and a heart monitor to wear during class.
I told him about my kickboxing history: Tae Bo classes in my teens, and a boxing gym in Venice Beach in my 30s. He showed me some basic techniques that refreshed my memory.
He explained that KickHouse’s style was based on Muay Thai, incorporating elements of kickboxing.
I’d expected to be intimidated, but everyone who rolled into the studio seemed happy, and I thought to myself, these people are even friendlier than my fellow yogis and Pilates enthusiasts.
After I found my bag, I looked up and saw my initials on the overhead screen connected to my heart monitor.
I was in the green zone. Upbeat music in full throttle, my coach announced go time with cheerleader enthusiasm.
Punch, kick, repeat. I quickly got into it. My pulse accelerated, not from emotional stress, but because I was jabbing and roundhousing with glee.
Sweat formed on my face while fighter instinct took over. It was me, a bag, and my anger swirling around in throbbing energy.
We’d pause and do intervals of squats, push-ups, burpees, all those tough moves I disliked but knew were necessary.
Endorphins worked their mood magic, and I smiled after my coach joked around, entertaining and encouraging us.
A glance at the heart monitor screen, and I was in the orange zone. I was breathing rapidly, but not struggling. After what I’d been through, I could handle the heat and grit.
It was power drill time, and I ripped into the bag, remembering bad-*ss Hilary Swank in the film Million Dollar Baby.
My warrior emerged. The mama goddess was back. And then I imagined the source of all my pent-up stress—that visualization was all it took to push me into the red zone.
“No matter what life throws at us, we will get through it,” KickHouse says on its website.
The class ended sooner than expected, and my pulse eased back into the green with a 5-minute stretching session at the end. I lingered, stretched more, and my coach came over and gave me the kudos I craved.
It was tough and fun, a full-body workout for the mind, body, and spirit—my favorite kind of class. I signed up for a membership, and for the following months, I would kick it with my newfound fighter family.
My body changed along with my mood; I’d shed some pounds, and I felt stronger. I was calmer and confident.
I did a lot of other personal growth work in between KickHouse classes, but whenever I felt the anger bubble up in my body, I knew where to go.
Kickhousestudio.com/kickhouse-walnut-creek
"I needed to get it out of my body, I wanted to scream, I needed to punch something."