It’s the fourth Thursday in November. You’ve been fasting all morning in preparation for the main event— Thanksgiving dinner. Sweet and savory aromas have mingled and intensified throughout the day, and you’re starving. It’s finally time to indulge in the feast, but before food is eaten, thanks must be given. You muster up a list of “I’m thankful fors” as quickly as possible before your heaping pile of mashed potatoes gets cold.
What does it mean to be authentically grateful? Not the obligatory gratitude that nags at us this time of year, but a sustaining, holistic kind of appreciation?
Miriam Webster defines grateful as follows:
Grateful - adjective
grate·ful | \ ˈgrāt-fəl
1) a. appreciative of benefits received
b. expressing gratitude
2) a. affording pleasure or contentment; pleasing
b. pleasing by reason of comfort supplied or discomfort alleviated
Each one of these definitions is circumstantial. They position gratitude in dependency to the receipt of some benefit, pleasure, or comfort. From this angle, it can be nearly impossible to stay grateful. In a season where the world is suffering from disunity, violence and tragedy, we must find a better method.
Gratitude is traditionally thought of as a state that one enters after receiving a gift. It’s in the elementary realms of dotting your i’s, crossing your t’s, and saying please and thank you. On the contrary, I have found gratitude in and of itself to be one of the best gifts of all. True gratitude finds itself in the ranks of joy, peace, and contentment.
The easiest way contentment is snatched from our midst is by fixating on what we don’t have. In other words, it’s impossible to be content when overwhelmed by the content that isn’t in our control. In the age of instant gratification, we can get most goods and services delivered to our doorsteps in less than 48 hours. This pace programs us to think we can attain that level of satisfaction quickly in other realms as well. As a young adult, there isn’t a day that goes by where I don’t think about who I’m becoming and how to get there. I think of all the ladders I want to climb and I become exhausted before my foot reaches the second rung.
We can cultivate gratitude by the simple act of noticing. Making gratitude lists is a practice that helps me tremendously. While it might sound cheesy, this therapeutic exercise has power. Now I know exactly when I need to make a list. It’s after I scour the internet looking for job openings I don’t need. It’s after I check my bank account for the third time in one day. It’s after I look at the social media account of a successful friend and spend hours wondering if I’ll ever be that creatively composed. Everyone has their own triggers for discontentment.
Try this practice as soon as you start to feel covetous, lacking, or anxious.
Gratitude Option 1: Focus Groups
Take into consideration the areas in your life that you think need work. Some common categories are relationships, career, finances, and personal growth. Create the necessary groups and proceed to make a list of things you are grateful for in those areas. Examine how you have grown holistically the past few years. Slowly but surely, you will become grounded in what you do have and less transfixed on what you don’t.
Gratitude Option 2: Listing
This one is simple. All you do is list out what you’re grateful for. It usually starts with something simple, like “I am grateful for this sunny day,” and ends with something from the deeper parts of you. In the beginning, it might feel like you’re mulling through dirt. But, if you persist, the list will evolve and you will end with a renewed sense of truth.
Gratitude is the gateway to reality. When we cultivate gratitude in our lives, we become more aware of the blessings and opportunities right before our eyes. Where you are is okay, and it should be celebrated. We’re not made to become hypnotized by idyllic scenes of what our lives could be. We’re made to steward what we have, and we cannot do that if we are not aware.