“What do you wish you had known when you were younger?” It’s a common question but one we can often get too busy to answer. The demands of daily life can make reflection and introspection difficult, but the practice can often lead to a better life.
“Psychologically, our brain’s memory center stores life events and experiences and encodes them with a layer of emotion attached to the memory,” says Gillian Rodriguez of Trellis Counseling & Co. PLLC. “This is also how we learn from mistakes, develop iterations of ourselves, and do more of what we remember as joyful and fulfilling.”
Rodriguez’s work includes experience as a trauma counselor, so she knows that looking back on the past can sometimes be painful. While avoiding unhelpful mentalities of “toxic positivity” or “good vibes only,” processing difficult experiences—especially with the help of a professional—can lead to great healing. “I take the approach that our past is a place to visit, but not a place to stay. This gives a nod to the meaning and weight of past experiences, yet also acknowledges that the present moment is ours to seize, and the life we have yet to live is one that includes new discoveries.”
In this spirit, we asked the women of Boerne to share some of the advice and grace they have for their younger selves. We’re so grateful to the many who responded on our social media, and we’re especially grateful to the women of Morningside at Menger Springs for sharing their wisdom.
It’s ok to disappoint others; give yourself grace. Fearing the unknown will keep you from achieving your dreams. You are blessed with talent, so don’t hide it or you’ll lose it! Be kinder. Most importantly, give it all to God. If I’d done that sooner, maybe life would’ve turned out a little bit differently. —Sarita
Never say “never!” —Charlene
Hold hands tight, but gently hold the heart. —Mary
It’s about the people you meet! Be welcoming, kind, fair, generous, and helpful, and you will be happy! —Dana
God is in control of it all! All things come from Him. Cut toxic relationships quickly. Travel more. Should have been a licensed real estate broker and designer much earlier in life. —Amber
In every job position I was hired for from the age of 17 to 29, I reinvented it to the point that my employer created one-of-a-kind positions to work. I'd be stoked about the opportunity for a few months until I mastered it, then grow bored and look forward to another new challenge… That whole time I thought I was just being a diva that blew in the wind when really I needed to create a situation to blossom… I think I would tell my younger self to embrace the “suck” and that it is all a part of the process of life. But then again, if I were to have just sat back and let it all happen hoping for a brighter thing ahead, I could have grown complacent. My younger self knew what was up—except that time she cut bangs. Oof! —Lillian
Pray more. —Leah
Choose your friends wisely. Make more use of your downtime that is productive. Trust the next chapter of your life because you know the author. —Shirley
Be more self-confident, and have faith in the Lord to lead me onward. —Joan
Life is long, and life is short! Make the most of every moment. Manifest greatness. Love yourself. Enjoy the journey. You can do anything, so choose wisely. —Jenni
It is not enough just to hear words, but actually listen to what you are hearing. There is a difference. —Barbara
Travel to new places as much and as often as you can. You will always have those wonderful memories! —Jackie
Follow your own path, not the path someone is trying to put you on. —Peggy
I would say, “I love you, so much.” …After I was diagnosed with cancer last summer, everything stopped and changed in an instant, and I chose to learn how to love myself in order to heal myself. —Gillian
What we focus on expands. Good, bad, or ugly, whatever we are looking for we find more of. In ourselves, in others, and in the world around us. —Danielle
Love your family and friends with a passion. Eat a healthy diet; walk more and drive less; get exercise. Enjoy life because it is God's gift to us. And as Diana Ross sings, "Reach out and touch somebody's hand. Make the world a better place if you can." —Jeanette
