Manners are for everyone. The original purpose of etiquette was to make people feel comfortable in any situation. By establishing clear expectations, etiquette allowed individuals to navigate social settings with confidence. If you found yourself in a room full of strangers, you did not need to feel anxious or fear embarrassment; you knew the rules, and that knowledge provided reassurance.
Etiquette is not about being perfect, prim, or proper. It's about understanding how to behave appropriately in different environments, regardless of social class, profession, ethnicity, gender, or wealth. At its heart, etiquette is a tool for inclusion and respect, not exclusion or judgment. This is why good manners transcend age, culture, and social status.
For young people, a strong foundation in etiquette is an essential life skill. Good manners build confidence, encourage compassion, and foster mutual tolerance and respect. Good manners also help develop patience and self-control. These are skills we all want to see in our children. Learning etiquette prepares students to enter the world with a sense of self-assurance, empathy, and social awareness — qualities that will serve them well in relationships, careers, and beyond.
If you’re ready to ensure your children are equipped with essential etiquette skills, here are the top ten etiquette tips every child should know:
1. “Please” and “thank you” are essential words in your child’s vocabulary. Using polite language shows kindness, gratitude, and respect for others. These are simple words with a big impact.
2. Using basic table manners shows courtesy and consideration to others at the table. Your child should be able to place their napkin in their lap at the start of the meal, wait to begin eating until everyone has been served, and chew with their mouth closed.
3. You’re never too young to learn to shake hands. Your child should know how to look an adult in their eyes, say “Hi, my name is…”, and offer their right hand; this helps to make a great first impression and build strong relationships.
4. Hold the door for the person behind you. Etiquette begins with kindness. Choosing to treat others with respect and generosity is always the right path, and it never goes unnoticed.
5. Always offer to lend a helping hand. Teach your child to be aware of others and to take small actions that show kindness and consideration. Simple gestures can make someone’s day a little better.
6. Thank you requires a little extra. A thank-you feels more genuine and memorable when it includes a specific detail. For example: “Thank you” becomes even warmer when you say, “Thank you — I had so much fun playing Marco Polo in the pool.”
7. Write the thank-you note! Whether it is for a gift, favor, or a thoughtful gesture, handwritten thank you notes teach children the importance of gratitude, mindfulness and reflection.
8. Learn the art of both giving and receiving compliments. Teach your child to offer sincere compliments — and to graciously accept them. A simple “thank you” is the proper response. There’s no need to downplay kindness; accept it with confidence and grace.
9. Master how to make a phone call to someone you don’t know. Teach your child to speak clearly and calmly, introduce themselves by name, and respectfully ask to speak to the person they’re trying to reach. It’s a simple but valuable life skill.
10. A smile goes a long way. When in doubt, a warm smile paired with genuine sincerity can ease tension, lift someone’s spirits, and make any situation a little better.
By embracing these fundamental etiquette skills, young people not only know how to navigate social situations with ease but also cultivate meaningful connections rooted in respect and kindness. Teaching and practicing good manners is an investment in their future, helping them become confident and empathetic individuals ready to make a positive impact in their communities and the world. With a strong foundation in etiquette, our children are empowered to face life’s challenges with grace and integrity.
Amanda Wagner is the Kansas City Director of the National League of Junior Cotillions, an organization dedicated to teaching children the principles of etiquette, respect, and leadership. Amanda is passionate about children, education, dance, and cultural exchange. She is thrilled to bring Junior Cotillion back to Kansas City and loves to say, 'Good manners never go out of style!'
To learn more about the NLJC program or to enroll your child in a local cotillion class, visitwww.KCCotillion.com or email Amanda directly at amanda.wagner@nljc.com. Classes for the 2025-2026 Junior Cotillion season begin in September.