Maybe you've heard about Benji and Tiffany Nelson, or about the family with 16 children in our community. They're the creators of the Not Enough Nelsons YouTube channel. Their story's unique, with seven biological children and nine adopted children; two are Russian born and the remaining seven were adopted through Utah’s Foster to Adopt program. With over 5.3 million subscribers, people tune in to watch how a large family learns, lives and laughs together. I was privileged to get an intimate look at how the couple of 30 years came together and realized dreams from their youth.
The 90’s were a simpler time, boy meets girl, they fall in love and get married. This was no different for the Nelsons when they met at SUU. Tiffany says “it was love at first sight, maybe plus 24 hours”. Within that first 24 hours, they truly got to know one another through “answering each other’s 100 questions”. By the end of their 100 questions session they were finishing each other's thoughts and sentences. Something that they still do today. From that first 24 hours, they knew they would be married.
When asking each other about the number of children they wanted Tiffany exclaimed, “Oh, I want a huge family, like seven!”. With Benji’s answer of five or six children, they felt that they could have a good compromise. Tiffany had a desire to adopt from an early age. “When I was 12 years old, because my mom was fostering, I had to watch a little girl leave with a DCFS worker, taking a picture I'd given her.” states Tiffany. “It was then I knew of my mission to adopt.” Benji knew of Tiffany’s desire to adopt from the beginning of their relationship, however they were both adamant that he be in full partnership with this major life step. “I needed to find my peace in it too, so I was never going to place blame if something was challenging", says Benji. The fateful day arrived when their second oldest, KassaDee was moved by compassion to tears for all of the children who don’t have parents. The Nelsons knew it was time to adopt. First they adopted two Russian born children. Eventually, the Nelsons added seven more children through the Foster to Adoption program in Utah, six siblings and one addition they still affectionately call “babygirl”.
When asked about the process of adoption they say we've seen, “beautiful miracles. With each, we just had a knowing in our hearts.” The journey of adoption is difficult, “there is always a tiny bit of a sad story attached to it. It is all a part of their journey. None of us have had a perfect childhood. Those moments in our childhood have made us who we are today. I am who I am because of some of the hardest days of my life.” Tiffany continues, ”The sad part of their story forges their strength. They wouldn’t tear out the pages of sadness in their story and neither would I. It is intertwined with who they are. Finding beauty in the heart is the greatest blessing.”
The Nelsons weren’t finished yet, through-out the processes of adoption Tiffany gave birth to three more children. “To grow a family, it’s beautiful, but it's not always easy.” Tiffany attributes their family’s success to “A dad who's completely on board and all in, a mom who is all in and parents who make unified decisions.” The Nelson family has unique challenges that go beyond the numbers. Not many parents take a party bus to church, wrangle four carts at the grocery store or attend 10 parent/teacher conferences in one day. Through these challenges Tiffany has learned to not base her parenting abilities upon people’s reactions. “I would go to one teacher who would sing my praises. ‘You must be the most incredible mother, you must do all these things with them’ and then I would go with another child, who would be struggling a bit, and the teacher would say, ‘here are all your failings’, that really taught me a lesson that I will never judge another parent based on the actions of their child.”
Looking back over the past 30 years, Tiffany remembers how she learned to “love the chaos and just be really present.” “I would answer the door with my hair disheveled and cheerios stuck to the bottom of my feet. It’s humbling when you realize that perfection is a complete facade”. Tiffany’s best advice for young families is that “Beauty is in enjoying the moments, because they go so fast.” Benji's sentiment is the same, “Money's important, but the enjoyment and happiness of actually living life together is more important.”
Looking back over the past 30 years, Tiffany remembers how she learned to “love the chaos and just be really present.”
With over 5.3 million subscribers, people tune in to watch how a large family learns, lives and laughs together.
Benji says that it wasn’t just Tiffany’s beauty that drew him to her but also spiritual experiences and a witness from God that she was the right one for him. Tiffany was attracted to Benji’s steadiness and familiar eyes, “It was like I was homesick and I found home.” Benji and Tiffany both have such warm and engaging personalities, it is no wonder that the YouTube community has fallen in love with them and their entire family. If you would like to see more of this fun and fascinating family take a look at their YouTube channel- Not Enough Nelsons.