We thought we wre ready. Years ago, we adopted a one-year-old mix from a shelter, part German Shepherd, part mystery, and in hindsight, not the right match for our young family with two young children. We knew it would take work, and we were up for the challenge. We loved him and tried everything: vet checks, hiring a trainer, consulting with others, and careful consistency at home. Despite our efforts, things didn't click. He snapped at both our kids and eventually, in a terrifying moment, he nipped at our oldest. After talking with the shelter, we made the heartbreaking decision to return him so he could find a home without children, and one that was better suited to his needs.
We were not first-time dog owners, we'd even owned a German Shepherd mix before, and considered ourselves capable pet owners. However, this experience taught us that love and effort alone aren’t enough if the match isn’t right for both the dog and the family. It was an important, painful lesson to learn.
A year later, when we were ready to try again, we approached things differently. This time, we found a puppy through foster care, giving us the opportunity to meet her in a natural environment, learn about her personality from the foster, and ensure that our children were comfortable. As an avid runner, I made personal sacrifices in what I wanted in a dog, giving up athleticism and independence in exchange for a dog who loves children, enjoys affection, and fits seamlessly into our family. We found the perfect family dog, and to set everyone up for success, we immediately contacted Kim Ryan-Mueller, owner of Quality Canines by Kim, whose expertise was invaluable in ensuring we raised a well-rounded, socialized, and happy dog.
With many families considering adding a dog to their home, I reached out to Kim to share her insights to help others avoid the heartbreak we experienced.
Kim emphasizes that the decision to adopt a dog or puppy should always take into consideration the ages of your children, your lifestyle, and your family’s current capacity to take on the responsibilities of dog ownership. “Getting a puppy or dog is an investment of time, money, and responsibility,” she says. “Some families are ready for the challenges, while others may feel overwhelmed.”
One practical tip she offers is to observe your children’s interest in dogs, whether it’s your family’s dog or a neighbor’s. This can give insight into how they might adjust to having a puppy at home and influence which type of dog or puppy that is right for your family.
When it comes to breed selection, it’s essential to match the breed’s needs with your family’s lifestyle. If you’re an indoors-focused family, a laid-back, low-energy pup may be best. On the other hand, if you love hiking, parks, and outdoor adventures, your options expand to breeds that will enjoy and thrive with an active lifestyle.
Kim warns against adopting high-drive breeds like Border Collies or Malinois unless you’re prepared to meet their intense mental and physical needs, noting that “each breed was meant for a job, and if we don’t fulfill or supplement that need, the pup can become frustrated and develop bad behaviors out of boredom.”
Another key consideration is whether to adopt a puppy or an adult dog from a shelter or go through a breeder. Kim encourages families to consider rescue, noting it can be a wonderful choice, but she also acknowledges the concerns families may have about bad habits or unknown behavioral issues. If you choose a puppy from a breeder, she advises selecting one who performs temperament testing to help match the puppy’s personality to your family.
Other factors to keep in mind: Puppies come with sharp baby teeth, sleepless nights, and the need for consistent potty training, while adult dogs often skip these stages but may require extra socialization and training, particularly if they’ve been in a shelter environment. We can personally attest to both of these scenarios, while our first shelter dog was one-year-old and a breeze in the chewing and potty department, he obviously struggled adjusting to life in a home with children. A perfect example of choosing your problem.
No matter what route you choose, preparation is key. Kim recommends setting up a designated potty spot, using safe toys (ones that pose no choking risk) and crates, and establishing a consistent routine to help your new dog feel secure while involving your children in the process. “Structure helps kids take charge and learn responsibility while building a bond with the dog,” Kim says. “It’s important for children to learn that a dog isn’t just a play toy, but a living being with feelings and needs.”
Training, Kim notes, is critical from the start. Dogs typically spend the first three weeks in a new home “people-watching” to ensure they are safe and loved before they show their true personalities and begin testing boundaries. This period is an ideal time to establish house rules, teach them how to alert you for potty needs, and build a foundation of trust and communication.
“Miscommunication is the number one reason people re-home their dogs,” Kim shares. “The dog doesn’t understand what the family wants, and the family doesn’t know how to help the dog understand. Training helps bridge that gap, ensuring a happier life for everyone.”
Looking back, while it was painful to return our first shelter dog, it was the right decision for him and for our family. Our second experience, guided by intentional choices and Kim’s expertise, led to a dog who truly completes our family.
If you’re considering adding a dog to your family, take your time, do your research, and prepare your home and your hearts for the responsibilities ahead. When the right match is made, a dog can enrich your family’s life in ways you never imagined. Owning the right dog creates memories, teaches responsibility and empathy, and becomes a beloved part of your family’s story.