With over 30 years of experience helping thousands of people change their lives as a mindset coach, Belanie Dishong teaches individuals and couples the fundamentals of love and how to experience deeper relationships free from limiting expectations. She teaches from her own life experiences of devastating loss, failed relationships, and the deep healing work that followed.
We sat down with Belanie to discuss the five most common misconceptions about love, how to experience greater love, and why having a better understanding of relationship dynamics is essential.
Five Things That May Surprise You About Love
Love doesn't just happen to you.
Love isn't involuntary; love is a very deliberate choice. Most people believe that love is caused by someone or something outside of themselves, but love is an experience that can only be created from within.
You can't fall in or out of love.
Many people say they have fallen out of love or grown apart, but that is not actually what happened. What happens when people think they have fallen out of love is they are simply not generating the experience of love.
Love can not be taken away from you.
Those experiencing a broken heart because of the ending of a relationship may believe they have lost love, which can lead to lasting hurt and distrust of future relationships. However, love cannot be taken away from anyone because no one but you can create the experience of love.
Expectations destroy relationships and love.
When people set expectations in relationships, they no longer have unconditional love. Expectations cause upsets and can sabotage relationships. Let go of expectations and live in the present to love.
You may not truly know the person you are in a relationship with.
When people first meet, they are fully engaged in getting to know each other. At some point in time, they decide, "I know this person." At that moment, they begin sharing a life with a person they defined at one point in time. Taking time for new discoveries and continuing to get to know each other on a deeper level is essential for a meaningful relationship.
Why do you feel it is important that people understand these topics?
It is important to understand the dynamics of love to be free of the attachments and fears that steal the pure joy out of relationships. When people stop looking outside themselves for love and realize love is an experience created within, they are free to love and be loved in all their relationships.
What do you feel is most misunderstood about love?
Love cannot be given or taken away. Love is created within each of us. I welcome a conversation to explore these ideas further and to help you to deepen your relationships in the coming year. liveatchoice.com
"When people stop looking outside themselves for love and realize love is an experience created within, they are free to love and be loved in all their relationships." – Belanie Dishong, Live at Choice.