They call it the “most wonderful time of the year.” Maybe that comes from the anticipation of sharing a festive meal with loved ones or the excitement of pulling out those Christmas stockings to hang on the mantle. But there are undoubtedly anxiety-inducing aspects, too. “Will I be hosting? How will I serve my family well? What if the conversation at the dinner table goes south?” The questions we ask ourselves in the hope of creating joyous, wholesome memories to look back on often seem endless. And they all can add up so that instead of feeling wonderful, the season feels just plain awful.
While the goal is for everyone to enjoy jolly good cheer around the table or tree this winter, the reality is that we can’t serve our guests well if we don’t take stock of our mental health first. Jared Calaway and Levi Mawhirter of Genesis Counseling Center gave us some tips on handling stress during the holiday season so we can focus on spending time with those who matter most—while keeping ourselves open to and able to enjoy the holiday spirit, too.
Manage Expectations
“Everyone wants to have that Hallmark Christmas card moment,” says Mawhirter, a Licensed Marriage and Therapy Associate at Genesis. During this season, it’s understandable to want your family and children to leave with treasured memories. Mawhirter and Calaway explain that while it’s great to want everyone to have joyful times and happy memories, it’s essential to manage your expectations. It’s okay to say “no” to an event or two; we’re human, and we can’t fit in every Christmas party. “These expectations all come from a good place,” Mawhirter recognizes. “But don’t hold yourself to the pressure of having to do everything.” Instead, Mawhirter suggested placing priority on your favorite family traditions rather than attempting to pack in all those extra events.
Stay Present
It can be easy during all the holiday hustle and bustle to constantly think about the next move: food prep, gift shopping, and serving the next family member might be the things on our minds instead of the memories unfolding in front of us. Calaway, a Licensed Professional Counselor, discusses the importance of being present and mindful during the holidays—even when we can become distracted by what needs to be done. “If we focus too much on the future, we can develop a lot of anxiety,” Calaway says. Calaway emphasizes that it can be easy to miss out on those moments being made while we’re distracted by everything that’s going on around us. “Leave work, leave the other stresses for another time,” says Calaway. “If we’re too busy planning for the next impending moment, it’s likely we’ll miss the ones happening right in front of us.”
Consider a Social Media Break
“Explore taking a social media break for that day,” says Calaway. As Mawhirter explains, we all want that “picture-perfect” moment. In this case, social media can quickly become another stressor if we find ourselves comparing our holiday festivities with others online. “A great question to ask yourself during the holidays is, ‘Is social media helping me build relationships, or is it getting in the way?’” Calaway says. It’s as simple as that: if we’re spending time seeing what others are unwrapping under their trees, it’s likely that you might be missing what’s happening under your very own. Calaway suggests taking a 24-hour “fast” from social media to keep focused on the memories being made in real time.
Be Sensitive
“We can be understanding that we can have a lot more sensitivity to what people might be going through during the holidays,” Calaway reminds us. "We don’t know the trauma that they’re going through.” Calaway explained the importance of showing each other grace during the holiday season, especially when we don’t know what stresses they may be juggling. Perhaps it’s the first Christmas without a loved one, or maybe they’re reliving traumatic memories from holidays past. The reality is that not everyone associates this time with things that are merry and bright. Calaway explains the importance of being empathetic towards others’ experiences with the holidays.
As we go through this holiday season, remember that while our hope is for joy and connection, it's essential to care for our own well-being, too. Managing expectations, staying present, and taking time for ourselves—whether through mindfulness or a social media break—can make all the difference. By being sensitive to the experiences of others and showing grace, we can create a season filled with genuine moments, minimal stress, and room for the true spirit of the holidays to shine through.
genesiscounselingcenter.com | 830-967-7422 (7GCC) | 101 Woods of Boerne Blvd., Ste. 200
“If we focus too much on the future, we can develop a lot of anxiety.” —Jared Calaway