Thanksgiving is ostensibly about gratitude.
And yet, somewhere between figuring out when the turkey goes in and determining who is sitting next to whom, the actual giving of thanks can become a rather brief affair.
At our table, we have little brass bells.
I put one at every place setting, and throughout dinner, whenever someone thinks of something they are thankful for, they ring the bell and say it aloud. No designated moment. No going around the table. Just an occasional little chime followed by something worth appreciating.
It has become one of my favorite traditions.
There are plenty of other ways to make gratitude part of Thanksgiving without requiring everyone to deliver a speech before the stuffing gets cold.
Fill the gratitude bowl. Put slips of paper and a pen somewhere guests will naturally find them and have everyone jot down something they’re thankful for during the evening. Before dessert, pull a few from the bowl and read them aloud. They can be signed or anonymous.
Thank a person, not a thing. Before dinner, make the toast about someone. Each person names one person who made their year better and, importantly, says why. It is considerably more interesting than twelve consecutive people announcing that they are thankful for “family.”
Put pen to paper. Leave a small card at each place setting and ask guests to write a thank-you note to someone who isn’t at the table—a teacher, friend, neighbor, doctor or colleague. Stamp them beforehand and mail them the next morning.
Keep the evidence. For children, cut paper leaves and let them write—or draw—something they are thankful for. Hang them from branches in a vase, then save the leaves each year. Eventually, “Mommy” and “mac and cheese” may give way to more complicated answers.
None of these traditions requires much effort, which is rather the point.
Thanksgiving already has enough production.
A little gratitude should be the easy part.
THE THANKFUL TABLECLOTH
Start with a plain linen tablecloth and a fabric marker. Have every guest add one thing they’re thankful for, then sign and date it. Bring the same cloth back each Thanksgiving. Over time, dinner comes with its own archive—old handwriting, long-forgotten answers and a few guests who were once too young to spell.