To find the perfect mate can be very challenging. There are many pieces to the puzzle of love and unfortunately most of us have experienced a broken heart at some point within our life. My wife Inger and I met after somewhat bitter divorces. I came from a devout Christian home, son of a Sr. Pastor, so life growing up was really strict. Inger came from the complete opposite so we were very different. When we met I immediately noticed differences in many areas and did not think that we were a right fit. We were taught that you have to marry a Christian if you were one. But I thought about something. Would Jesus reject her? No, so how could I. I decided to do what some would be afraid to do; get out of my comfort zone. Inger had three children and I had one at the time. We decided to give it a try and slowly began to fall in love. We recognized that we both were hurt by our previous partners and vowed to never hurt each other. I took the time to learn about Inger and study her. What does she like? What makes her smile? What makes her mad? Finding out everything that you can and studying your mate shows that you care and is greatly beneficial for your relationship. Confessing that we both had broken pieces was another key in developing strategies and a plan for us to connect with each other like we had never done before. We learned to keep people out of our circle and tackle any issues head on. Every year was tough but it became easier. Inger is THE BEST thing that ever happened to me. She gave her life to Christ and was baptized at the local church and she is thriving in every area of her life and soon will be writing a book. I am so glad that we both stepped out of our comfort zone and she feels the same. We began to heal with each other and help other couples do the same. I have experienced a joy and love like I never thought possible with this beautiful woman. We have a son together named Asher and he is a very happy 4 year old. We also have Ethan, my 8 year old son from my previous marriage, Nyah 17, Karter 8 and Josh 18, from Inger's previous relationship. All of the kids blended very well and we were able to show them that no matter where you come from, how you look, what you believe, love can blend you together and make things happen that you never dreamed possible. There are no limits that Inger and I have. She works for one of the best Cardiology practices around and ironically healed my broken heart. She brought the best out of me and she says that I did the same for her. Through the pandemic has shown us how great our foundation is. Our relationship is strong in every area; gaining more strength every day. Inger helped me rid a fear of dogs that I had all of my life due to a bad childhood experience with dogs. I am proud to say that I have a black well trained lab named Bella. What can I say? All of my dreams came true because of one beautiful woman. She makes me feel like Micheal Jordan, my favorite basketball player! My advice to all of you is to study your mate, find out everything that you can about them. Find out what they did not receive in past relationships and give it to them abundantly. Step out of your comfort zone and find someone that can heal with you simultaneously. Establish a bond that can not be broken, breached, or penetrated. There is nothing that I wouldn't do for my wife and she can never be replaced! She is my Angel infinitely. It is like being with your best friend every day and every night. We have certain days we read, watch movies, have tea time and talk and we keep everything fresh. I make sure that everyday is Valentine's, Christmas, Mother's Day and her birthday because she deserves it. Let go of your past. If someone left you, count it a blessing. There is always someone out there that will treat you as the King or Queen that you are. Do not settle for anything less. Why would you do that to yourself? Be would someone who celebrates you as Inger and I do. You will feel the love, joy, peace and happiness that we do and will be able to share your experience with others as I am sharing with you. Remember you deserve to be happy and enjoying life to the fullest. I am not saying that this was easy at all. We just decided to roll up our sleeves and work hard at it and it was so worth it! Broken pieces are made to be happily blended with LOVE!
Article by Arthur McCoy
Photography by Keikilani Photography
Originally published in Smyrna Vinings Lifestyle