We’ve all been there before, either on the leaving end or the welcoming home end, maybe both. When the shape of home changes, it can feel complicated. The house looks the same, but the rhythm of it has shifted. The rooms that once held daily routines now hold memories, and when everyone returns under one roof for the holidays, it takes a moment to find that groove again. But change, while sometimes bittersweet, can also be exciting. It’s proof of growth, of progress, and of love that continues to evolve. Just because home looks different doesn’t make it any less meaningful.
It’s a scene that probably sounds familiar: a college kid pulling into the driveway after months away. The car is loaded with laundry, half-empty snack bags, and a haphazardly packed trunk. The front door swings open, and suddenly the house fills again with the sound of their voice, their laughter, and maybe the thud of a duffel bag being dropped in the hallway. Before hugs are even exchanged, the family dog barrels in, tongue lolling and tail wagging wildly, incapable of containing the excitement.
When we spoke with several Crystal Lake families about what it’s like when college students come home for break, one common thread stood out; everyone missed their dog. “My dog, Copper,” said Gavin F. when asked what he didn’t expect to miss most about home. Brady S. echoed the same sentiment. “I love coming home and seeing my dog, which I didn’t expect to be the case,” he said. “He can be a handful sometimes, so I was initially looking forward to living without him, but I miss him!”
There’s something grounding and steady about a dog’s greeting. They don’t ask questions or comment on grades. They don't judge your choice in major or new haircut. They’re just happy you’re home. Dogs give their love freely, without any pretense or expectations and that can feel refreshing when life is full of changes.
For parents, though, the return home can feel a little like walking into a new chapter of a familiar book. The last time their child lived under their roof full-time, they were asking to borrow the car, leaving lights on, and being reminded (again... and again) to pick up their shoes. Now they’re coming back as young adults, used to their own routines, opinions, and independence that doesn’t always fit neatly into old expectations.
“Really, the only thing I ask of my adult son who lives with us is that he contributes to the operations of the house: dishes, yardwork, garbage, etc.,” said Sharon B. The emphasis shifts from control to collaboration, with everyone doing their part to make the household work.
Some parents said the change feels more like a reward than an adjustment. “I love the change!” Sharon added. “Of course I enjoyed having little kids during the holidays, but where we are now feels like a reward for all of our hard work while the kids were young and teenagers.”
Brigid F. shared a similar mix of nostalgia and pride. “People tell you how fast it goes, and it's hard to believe it when you are in the thick of it,” she said. “Letting him go is exciting and sad all wrapped up in one crazy feeling.” Her son Gavin agreed, though from a simpler perspective: “It’s pretty much the same,” he said of being home, though he did note one change with a smirk: “My sister is in my room.”
Even with those small moments of humor, coming home often reveals how much everyone has grown. “Our conversations seem more in depth,” Brigid said, also noting that “he looked like a man with his facial hair.”
That growing-up is clear to Courtenay S. too. “When Brady came home for the first holiday break, I felt like we were trying to be a little more deliberate and purposeful about maintaining some of our holiday traditions,” she said. “It was really important to me that we still all go cut down the tree together before he left.” It may take a little more intention than it used to but that makes the traditions that much more meaningful.
For Brady, that return brought a shift in pace more than anything else. “At school, I feel like there is always something that needs to be done… When I come home, though, all that goes away. It’s a 60 to 0 almost instantly,” he said. The quiet of home, and the slower rhythm takes some getting used to.
That doesn’t mean there aren’t small moments of tension. “I tend to give people space first,” Sharon said. “If I feel adjustments have to be made, I will address them directly; I also try to use humor.”
For some, it’s about finding a new balance between freedom and respect. “When he came home for the holidays, we didn’t really discuss the idea of curfew at first,” Courtenay said. “Then there were a few late nights that prompted the three of us to sit down together to have a simple discussion… It’s being conscious and respectful of others and their time.”
Even with those adjustments, the joy of having everyone home outweighs the bumps. “Just watching my three children be back together warms my heart,” said Brigid. “When he is home, there is definitely more laughter and shenanigans happening.” Courtenay agreed: “When Brady came home for the first time last Thanksgiving, we all had missed him so much… Hearing them all laughing and talking was a memory I’ll treasure forever.”
Students feel the push and pull between independence and belonging too. “Honestly, it’s the really simple things that I do with my parents and siblings that make it feel like I’m home again,” Brady said. “Sometimes when we are playing cards or eating dinner together, I forget that I go to school hundreds of miles away.”
Still, the holidays have a way of softening everything. The tree goes up, the familiar recipes come out, and somehow, everyone finds themselves slipping back into the comfort of shared traditions. “Stand back, feel proud of this person you've raised, and trust that you've given them lots of tools to navigate the world they live in,” Sharon said.
Because ultimately, that’s what coming home is about. It’s not trying to make things as they were but learning to love them as they are now. The hugs might be taller, the conversations deeper, the visits shorter, but the connection runs just as strong. And somewhere between the unpacked laundry, the wagging tails, and the old (and new) expectations, you realize that home has simply grown a little too.