As an adult, it can be hard to watch your once-vibrant and full-of-life parents get older. With age, comes a litany of differences—everything from slight absentmindedness to a slowing down, to dementia and Alzheimer’s. For adult children, it can be not only heartbreaking, but frustrating as well—especially if you have to play caregiver.
As a result, many families are faced with the question: should they stay or go?
Consider this: according to a survey of North American homeowners between the age of 55 and 75, conducted by Home Instead Inc., franchisor of the Home Instead Senior Care network, 94 percent of seniors who were surveyed said they would like to continue to live in their own home. Yet, only 28 percent have made a definite plan for where they will live as they age.
With more seniors wanting to age in place, the reality is that the responsibility then falls to an adult child to be a caregiver to their parent in their home, which often presents its own unique challenges.
Enter Home Instead Senior Care, an organization founded on the principle of enhancing the lives of aging adults and those who care for them. Founded in 2003, the organization has grown to more than 1,000 franchises that provide in-home care services that benefit both seniors and adult child caregivers.
“What people don’t realize,” says Laura McCoy, Director of Community Outreach for Home Instead Senior Care in St. Charles, “is that when we come in as caregivers, it takes the pressure off the adult child … because we do the laundry, the grocery shopping, take them to the doctor, and do the dishes.”
“We even just get them out … to keep them stimulated to help them age happily.”
In St. Charles County, the competition for private duty care is quite high, but Laura says that her organization doesn’t like the term because it sounds like a chore.
“We like to have a personal relationship with someone. Even with dementia, they [patients] know their caregivers.”
Aging at home means having conversations about how this might look to the parent, and a plan for being able to do so. The following tips can help determine where a parent would thrive as they age:
• Get Started. Whether your parents are 40 or 70, start observing and gathering information. In this way, you can come up with the best solution when you (and they) are ready.
• Talk it out. Discuss your observations with your parents. Don’t talk at them, talk to them. If your parents don’t agree with your observations, or recognize there’s a problem, use concrete examples to support your case.
• Maximize the independence. Most likely, your parents have been taking care of themselves for more than six decades (give or take). Respect their independence and look to provide the maximum amount you can in each individual situation. Look for answers that optimize strengths and compensate for problems.
• Ask for help. Many age-related issues can be solved by providing parents with the support they need to continue to maintain their independence. Resources such as Home Instead Senior Care can help.
“Having us there to take care of a patient’s needs, helps adult children just be a son or daughter again.”
For more information, visit HomeInstead.com/782.