In the early 2010s, Mandy Majors lived through the nightmare scenario that every parent dreads. It didn’t happen through a late-night chat room or in a hidden app; it happened on a normal morning during the school rush. Her nine-year-old daughter asked a question about an adult topic she had heard about at the school lunch table.
At the time, Majors thought she had the solution: no phones at all for the kids. But that morning changed everything. “That was the moment that I realized not giving them a phone wouldn’t protect them from online dangers,” she recalls. “I believe in delaying the phone, absolutely... but we cannot delay the conversations.”
Now, more than a decade later, Majors is the founder of the nonprofit nextTalk, where she advocates for a relationship-first approach to digital safety. Her philosophy is a radical departure from the fear-based, high-control tactics that many parents default to. Instead of acting as a digital warden, Majors argues that parents must transition from a role of protection to one of preparation.
Protecting vs. Preparing
When children are toddlers, parents have significant control over their environments. But as they enter adolescence, that control disappears. Majors realized early on that her job wasn't just to keep bad things away from her kids, but to teach her kids how to handle the bad things when a parent isn’t around.
“I realized I needed to teach them how to prepare to protect their own hearts and minds,” she says. “They had to become advocates for themselves.” By discussing the why behind boundaries—like why a horror movie can cause nightmares or why certain images stick in the brain—she helped her children develop their own internal filters.
The Problem with Tech Tools
While Majors utilizes parental controls and monitoring apps, she warns parents not to view them as a magic answer to their problems. In her experience, workarounds are still there. “With every tool that I have found, there are always loopholes,” Majors explains. “Restrictions are great, but we need to be focusing more on building a healthy dialogue with our kids than researching Wi-Fi routers.”
Her “nextTalk10” principles emphasize that a parent’s relationship with their kids is the most powerful security feature. If a child views something inappropriate or gets into a scary situation online, the goal is for the parent to be the first person they tell.
Turning Off “Crazy Parent Mode”
To build this trust, Majors teaches “Red Flag Reporting.” This is a simple list of things kids should report to parents or trusted adults, such as seeing “body parts” or being asked to keep a secret. The catch? The grown-up has to handle the report without exploding.
“If you overreact and say, ‘You can't play with that neighbor anymore!’ or ‘You can't have that app anymore!’ they are never going to tell you again,” Majors warns. “I tell parents all the time that it is a parenting win if your child tells you—no matter what.”
Pressing “Reset”
For parents who feel they’ve already lost control and their kids are already tech-obsessed, Majors offers a path back. She advises against “going in guns blazing” to snatch away devices. Instead, she suggests a reset that begins with humility.
“Start with an apology; own your part,” she suggests. “Something like, ‘I gave you this phone not knowing, and I am sorry. I messed up.’” By owning the mistake, parents can invite their children into a team effort to create healthier guidelines, like the “no screens in bedrooms or bathrooms” rule that Majors credits as her most impactful boundary.
Ultimately, Majors’ message is one of hope: “It's never too late, no matter what the age of your child, to start building a healthier relationship with them.”
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“If you overreact and say, ‘You can't play with that neighbor anymore!’... they are never going to tell you again. I tell parents all the time that it is a parenting win if your child tells you—no matter what.”