I recently happened upon a box of stationery at a bookstore by “Em & Friends” simply called “Empathy Cards.” (Google them!). The cards include messages like, “There is no good card for this. I’m so sorry.” And my personal favorite, “I know there’s no normal to go back to. But I’m here to help you build a new one (and I’ll bring snacks).” I bought the set and imagine I’ll buy more when these run out. I think they send the reminder that you care, without saying too much.
In our work with the clients we serve, we have the privilege of walking with them through trying times. We’ve seen time and again that life’s difficult circumstances are painful enough when there isn’t a financial element. But with that layered on, which is often the case, it can be suffocating. We try to help by listening first and then suggesting practical next steps when circumstances feel paralyzing. But in those moments, we know that even well-meant words can sting or irritate rather than comfort. This is true whether it comes from a trusted advisor or a lifelong friend.
The struggle of how best to support a hurting friend truly goes back to the beginning of time… and here we are in 2025 still learning how to do it well. In the book of Job in the Bible, Job lost literally everything—his children, his home, his wealth and his health. At the beginning of the book, his friends had it right. They came to his house and sat with him. No words, just their presence. They cried with him and supported him silently. But as the book goes on, and Job’s hardships continue (through no fault of his own), his friends can’t resist the urge to make suggestions and even become critical of how he’s handling his circumstances. Though I hate to admit it, I’ve been that friend (even if just in my head).
I bring up the story of Job because I think we can all learn a lesson from this. Be the friend who shows up—the one who sends an encouraging note that doesn’t try to solve the problem but reminds them they’re not alone. Give them space to process while feeling supported. Have their favorite snacks delivered to their door. Send a short text message that simply says, “sending a hug.” Perhaps three words are better than twenty. And perhaps we need to stop there—and simply repeat. At least for a time.
Having people we trust—personally and professionally can make all the difference in a difficult time. When it’s our time to support—mine and yours—let’s step back and consider what true support and encouragement might look like rather than jumping in with words and “fixes” and certainly not with judgment. It’ll be my turn soon enough to need support. These are things I hope my friends will consider and I want to care for them in the same way.
PYA Waltman Capital, LLC (“PYAW”) is an investment adviser registered with the U.S. Securities and Exchange Commission. More information about PYAW’s investment advisory services can be found in its Form ADV Part 2 and Form CRS, which are available upon request. PYA-25-19