I can already hear the pushback. Haven’t I looked at a calendar? Here we are careening at breakneck speed to the holidays. Your lists have lists. There are family presents to buy. There are teacher remembrances. Santa Claus. Hostess gifts. Baking. And the groceries. Groceries! How is it that you keep going to the grocery store daily and still never have something to prepare for dinner? And maybe you just ran out of toilet paper. Did you already use the secret roll you had stashed at the back of the closet?
You’re not even sure if you have time to flip through a magazine.
You are at the right place at the right time. So take a breath. Here we go.
A few months ago, I fell backward, and I broke a vertebra in my back. It was in the L-1 section of my spine. Pain traveled from my ribs down my back and caused awful grumpiness in my hips.
There is nothing like a major health crisis to shake your mental attitude, much less your calendar of events! Everything had to be scrapped. The only “get-togethers” I had were doctor's appointments. After I started feeling better, the sign-ups came. You know you have a village when a SignUpGenius is emailed out and filled. With my injury, I had two sign-ups.The morning one was for my friends to come over, put my back brace on and lead me on laps around the house. Then there was an afternoon one to assist me with dinner.
I learned something during these quiet moments of healing with friends. We had deeper conversations. Meaningful conversations. I was not just recovering, but I was learning something about each person who came through the door. I would never admit this out loud, but my time convalescing was a gift. Slowing down enabled me to truly connect to friends I thought I knew well.
There is something moving, almost spiritual, about being in conversation with another person face-to-face. It is a slower pace. Are the many coffee shops springing up around town providing refuge where the art of in-depth conversation can move about freely? Could it be that our own souls are craving a slower, more meaningful pace? Maybe we have so many open tabs in our brains that we always feel overwhelmed and behind.
I think in our society we have lost something through short texts that don’t convey our tone or sometimes even our sincerity. When you are sitting 3 feet away from someone, you are struck by people’s goodness, their struggles and their journeys.
I was struck by how amazing and generous people can be. Our society gives human nature a bad rap, but in my sunroom and my sitting room, I can assure you it is alive and well. Each day brought a different person, and each person was a gift. The gift was their presence.
So, when it comes to the hurried days over the holidays when our phones blow up, and we wake up each day feeling behind the eight ball, I would encourage you to shift your perspective. It took me breaking my back and slowing down to change mine. Gratitude caught up to me, sat me down and truly inhabited me.
Maybe you and your friends agree to a pact this season. Instead of giving gifts, give your presence. You never know when your presence will be a gift to someone else.
"Between stimulus and response, there is a space. In that space is our power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and our freedom.”—Viktor Frankl.