We live in a culture that glorifies productivity. The “hustle” has become a badge of honor, and rest can sometimes feel like weakness. But what happens when doing our best turns into never feeling good enough?
That’s where Maddy Trenholm, MSW, LICSW, can help. A licensed therapist based in Eagan and the owner of Maddy Trenholm Counseling, Maddy helps adults untangle the anxiety, self-criticism, and burnout that come with perfectionism.
“I’ve been there,” she says. “Perfectionism doesn’t just affect your work. It shows up in your relationships, your health, and even your hobbies. It can feel like there’s always someone else doing better, faster, or more easily than you.”
Maddy’s clients often arrive at her office feeling drained from trying to meet unrealistic expectations. They’ve achieved success on paper but can’t shake the nagging voice that says it’s still not enough. Over time, that constant striving can lead to anxiety, procrastination, and even depression.
“Many people I work with are incredibly capable,” Maddy explains. “But perfectionism tells them that if it isn’t flawless, it’s a failure. That mindset can rob you of joy and keep you stuck.”
The Cost of Constant Comparison
A 2022 Gallup poll found that 76% of American workers experience burnout at least some of the time. For those with perfectionist tendencies, that number may feel even higher.
Maddy points out that perfectionism can take many forms, including staying up late to triple-check a report, over-exercising to meet a self-imposed fitness goal, or replaying every conversation to make sure nothing “wrong” was said. It can even appear as procrastination: waiting until you can do something perfectly before starting at all.
According to research from Harvard, people caught in the cycle of perfectionism often display five traits: unrealistic standards, harsh self-criticism, fear of failure, overworking, and a results-only mindset. The outcome? Burnout, dissatisfaction, strained relationships, and a constant feeling of falling short.
“People think resilience means pushing through no matter what,” says Maddy. “But real resilience is knowing when to stop, say no, and protect your wellbeing.”
Finding Relief Through Therapy
At her office inside Flex Wellness in Eagan, or virtually for those who prefer online sessions, Maddy offers therapy for anxiety, trauma, and performance-related stress. She also specializes in EMDR therapy, a highly researched approach for processing distressing memories that can contribute to perfectionism and anxiety.
In her practice, clients often learn to recognize the difference between healthy motivation and harmful pressure. Together, they unpack where those inner voices came from, including teachers, parents, and coaches, and begin to replace them with kinder, more realistic self-talk.
“There’s usually someone else’s voice in your head telling you that you’re not good enough,” she explains. “Therapy helps you separate that voice from your own and decide which one you want to listen to.”
Reframing What “Good Enough” Means
Maddy often encourages clients to start by challenging perfectionist thoughts with simple truths:
- Rest isn’t a reward; it’s a necessity.
- “Good enough” is still good.
- Self-worth doesn’t depend on achievement.
- Boundaries are a form of self-respect.
Perfectionism can’t be cured overnight, but it can be understood and managed. By learning to accept imperfection, people often rediscover creativity, connection, and genuine contentment.
“Everyone has something they want to be better at,” Maddy says. “That’s human. The goal isn’t to stop caring. It’s to care in a way that doesn’t cost you your peace.”
For anyone feeling stuck, anxious, or exhausted from trying to meet impossible standards, Maddy’s message is simple: it’s okay to rest, it’s okay to ask for help, and it’s okay to be human.
“Resilience isn’t powering through. It’s knowing when to pause, set a boundary, and give yourself the care you deserve.”