The Masterson family lost their son Aaron to Cystic Fibrosis in 2018. Aaron was 12 and would have been 13 in April of 2018. Aaron was the only boy among 3 sisters and the only child with Cystic Fibrosis. He brought levity to the girl drama in the Masterson house. He had big blue eyes and a contagious laugh. He loved being with friends and family, meeting new people and he was a good listener. He did all the things to keep himself healthy (meds, chest PT, nebulizer, Dr visits, hospitalizations, and PIC lines without anesthetic) and never complained. He loved sports, soccer, swimming and football and loved watching football, especially Alabaman football. He also loved Star Wars, being in Boy Scouts, and playing the Xbox. We sat down with Sara and Don Masterson to talk about Aaron and how they learned to cope with this tragedy.
What are ways you and Don learned to cope with this tragedy?
Our family learned that talking to each other regularly, about Aaron and how we were doing, and putting up a “We Love Aaron” wall w/help from family and friends and adding pieces to it brought us joy. Talking about him with others was always better than not talking about him. We plated a tree and bench in Monte Sano State Park in his memory also.
What are some coping mechanisms you would recommend to others grieving?
Don’t isolate yourself and let yourself grieve! Don’t judge yourself for “not being over this by now”.
How can people support someone else who is grieving?
Support others by praying and asking them about their loved one. Sometimes those that have lost loved ones feel like they will be forgotten. It’s so important to let them know their loved one’s life made a difference and that they are missed.
How do you handle the anniversary or other grief triggers?
We always celebrate Aaron’s birthday by making one of his favorite meals, desserts, and watching Star Wars movies w/family. We also wear red, his favorite color.
How did you find meaning after this loss?
We find meaning in his loss by thinking of what he brought to the world and keeping it going; relating to others that experience grief and understand that we are never alone. God is always with us in our suffering. We watch Star Wars movies w/family and wear Red, his favorite color.
How did you begin to find joy again?
We trusted God and we were so thankful we had Aaron vs never having him at all. We believed good would come out of our suffering and out of his life. He was an organ donor and was able to give his heart to someone who needed it.
How did this change you?
It made us stronger in our faith and more humble knowing that Aaron was God’s child before ours. He could give and take as He thought best. We also knew Aaron was in Heaven doing great and we had nothing to worry about - no CF, no trouble breathing and no therapy! He would want us to live life to the fullest as he did.
What are things you want to tell others about grief?
Tell others it is important to grieve (cry, write in a journal, talk honestly with God, have therapy, whatever you need to do the work of grieving). It is not healthy to stifle grief. Talk about your loved one to others and those who knew him/her should relay stories about them. Thank God for the time you had with them, and think about what they taught you and how you can carry this on.
Tell others it is important to grieve (cry, write in a journal, talk honestly with God, have therapy, whatever you need to do the work of grieving). It is not healthy to stifle grief.