Who
Mattie Jackson Selecman, author
Title
Lemons on Friday: Trusting God Through My Greatest Heartbreak,
Where
Nashville
Advice
“I’m so grateful to see that Ben's death, and all that I have been through, helps others get through their own hardships. Helping others is the greatest way you can heal and bring joy back.”
Losing someone we love is perhaps the hardest challenge we will ever face in life. If we’re lucky, we can comfort ourselves with the fact that the person lived a good long life. But what if that person was taken from us way too soon? How do we come to terms with the additional heartbreak that goes along with that grief?
The answer for Mattie Jackson Selecman was to help others through their pain. A widow at 28, she never imagined losing the love of her life so young, and so soon after their marriage.
“Ben was a very easy man to fall in love with,” says Mattie. “Just talking about him brings a smile to my face. He was one of those people who was just joyful and had a huge personality.”
Ben Selecman, an assistant district attorney for Davidson county, was only 28 years old the day he fell and hit his head in 2018. That head injury proved fatal, and took place only 11 months into their marriage.
“He always said he wanted to live life to the fullest, and the abundant life that God says we can live, and he really did in his own way in his 28 years,” she says.
To cope with her grief, Mattie turned to her other love, writing. “My college degree is in writing and my dad is a songwriter and my mom wrote a book. So, it was natural for me to try to process my grief that way and everything I was having to face so unexpectedly.”
Her father, Alan Jackson, is not just a songwriter, but one of the most successful country artists of all time. Her mother, Denise Jackson, is the author of It’s all About Him: Finding the Love of My Life and The Road Home.
Mattie’s written outpourings of grief and hope have now been turned into a book: Lemons on Friday: Trusting God Through My Greatest Heartbreak, will be available on Nov. 16 via Harper Collins. The title and subtitle of the book reflect her strong faith, and is what she attributes, along with her family and friends, to getting her through the worst of her grief.
“Lemons on Friday was from a metaphor that came into my head,” she says. “I remembered the saying to make lemonade out of lemons, and I remember feeling like what more bitter, sour, awful and unwanted thing could have happened to me and being helpless to make something good out of it. The Friday part is the acknowledgement that if we’re true believers we don’t really live on resurrection Sunday, but instead are living on crucifixion Friday, feeling helpless and wondering how long we’re going to have to hurt until our Sunday comes.”
Some readers who preorder the book will gain access to Racing in the Dark, a song Mattie co-wrote with her father.
Sharing her story and her talents is allowing her to heal her own pain, and hopefully those of others. “If I’m able in some small way through this book and my story being published to make someone who doesn’t have faith or who doesn’t have that support system feel like they’re not alone in their pain, then that’s my greatest hope.”