Can you simply flip a switch from bitter to hopeful and expect rainbows and unicorns to magically appear? It’s a feeling we all understand — that longing for things to shift quickly when the world feels overwhelming. The process might be easier than you think. Having someone to talk to, especially when times are tough, who listens without judgment, can help keep your attitude in check.
Think of it as training your mind the same way you’d train anything else. And since you’re probably already drafting a heroic list of New Year’s resolutions, go ahead and add a few mindful exercises to the mix — no gym required, and zero chance of pulling a hamstring. These mental reps pay off way faster anyway.
“Learning to focus on your blessings and appreciating the people around you, no matter how imperfect they might be, can change the way you approach every challenge,” says Stephanie Konter-O’Hara, owner of WellMinded Counseling in Broomfield. “Strive for thoughts that are fulfilling and actions that are purpose-driven.”
Stephanie sees this play out with clients all the time — how even small shifts in mindset can reshape an entire day.
“For most people, it really just takes one caring and supportive person in their life to cope with the world and be happy,” comforts Stephanie, a therapist with a master’s degree in clinical mental health counseling. “And most people have someone like that, even if they don’t realize it.”
And yet, we still feel guilty burdening a friend or family member. Or we discount their ability to help because we become hypersensitive and overlook all the good they bring to the table. In those moments, speaking with a licensed therapist — someone unbiased and with no agenda other than helping you become the best version of yourself — can be a game-changer.
“Find a therapist who is educated and trained in evidence-based theories and solutions,” advises Stephanie, who leads a group of like-minded professionals at her clinic, “a place that strives to build a positive relationship with their clients that is both collaborative and supportive.”
So whether you lean on family, friends, or a therapist for support, there are simple ways to limit your aggravation and improve your attitude — what clinicians call cognitive reframing. Consider it a little gym session for your brain — with no treadmill in sight.
For starters, remember that you can’t change the people around you. If the holiday season taught us anything, it’s that managing our own reactions is far easier than trying to manage our families. You can only control your own thoughts and responses.
Parents, you can help your children avoid meltdowns by preparing them for transitions. Saying, “We need to leave in fifteen minutes for school. When you finish breakfast, put your shoes on and grab your backpack,” will yield far better results than a rushed, “We’re late again! Let’s go!”
At work, take recesses like kids do to break up your day. After lunch, take a 10–15-minute walk, or call a friend on the drive home before stepping into a busy house and starting dinner. Those brief respites can recharge your batteries.
“You can restart your day at any time,” reminds Stephanie. “If you’ve had a bad meeting, or even a bad day, move through it by finding a place to stomp around, scream, or simply hug a pillow so you can get it out of your system and be ready for the next experience.”
These kinds of small, intentional actions are exactly what cognitive refocusing is all about — little mental workouts that help keep your attitude in check.
And who knows — with the right mindset, rainbows and unicorns may not be so far-fetched after all.