The only memories 18-year-old Lana has of her mother live in dog-eared photographs and time-faded stories from those who knew her. Just three years old when she lost her mom, Lana grew up as an only child raised by her father. By the time she was nine, her mother’s absence was an aching void that nothing could fill.
Hoping to ease his young daughter’s loneliness, Lana’s dad signed her up with Big Brothers Big Sisters (BBBS) of New Hampshire, the local affiliate of BBBS of America, the largest and most experienced youth-mentoring network in the United States. After a careful and extensive matching process, the organization found the little girl her perfect Big Sister in Portsmouth’s Mary Ellen McNamara.
The mother of five children, McNamara always had a profound love for kids. After working for BBBS for seven years as a match support coordinator, she yearned to be a Big Sister. When her children went off to college, the time was right to pursue her dream. After mentoring a few girls short-term, she found magic in her match with Lana.
On the day of their first meeting in April of 2017, McNamara came face to face with a shy, apprehensive, and “adorable” nine-year-old Lana. Her heart immediately went out to this child with frightened eyes. Shy herself as a child, McNamara easily related to the girl’s timidity and resolved to bring her out of her shell. “It was a wonderful match, right from the start,” McNamara says.
The matching process that so perfectly pairs “Bigs” and “Littles” is unique to BBBS, perfected over the 120 years since the organization’s inception in 1904. Specially trained match advisors conduct in-depth interviews with the child, the family, and the potential Big. They pair the mentor and mentee based on common interests and their personalities. “We are essentially putting two strangers together,” explains BBBS of New Hampshire CEO Stacy Kramer. “The two personalities must match.”
For McNamara and Lana, the instant connection they experienced on their first meeting only grew stronger with time. Their first outing to Strawbery Banke Museum’s baby animal exhibit built a foundation for challenges like surfing lessons and rock climbing. The more the Big Sister introduced the timid child to new activities and people, the more the young girl’s confidence blossomed.
A BBBS staff person sets up occasional activities that bring the Big and Little together with other program participants, creating a community called “The Village.” McNamara and Lana took part in many of these outings, but McNamara planned most of their adventures herself, usually every two weeks. Surprisingly, some of the best times were the simplest, like walking along a river or on the beach. The perceptive mentor understood the importance of listening, allowing Lana to vent about school or whatever was on her mind. She soon realized that the activity itself wasn’t what mattered—her Little just loved their time spent together.
Watching the animated movie “Wild Robot” was a surprising catalyst for Lana to open her heart to her Big Sister. The touching storyline of a robot who becomes the adoptive mother of an orphaned goose resonated with the motherless girl and brought both her and her mentor to tears. Knowing that her Little can cry and laugh with her means the world to her Big.
McNamara knows she can’t replace Lana’s mother, but she found special poignancy in sharing holiday activities like baking Christmas cookies and Easter cakes—sentimental traditions the girl would have established with her mother. As a mom herself, McNamara knows the power of memories created in these seemingly ordinary moments.
This past June, after eight years with her Big Sister, a brave, self-confident 17-year-old Lana graduated from high school, aging out of the BBBS program. But before reaching this milestone, she and McNamara had one more vital excursion: shopping for a prom dress. McNamara was thrilled to be a part of this rite of passage for her longtime mentee.
The day was pure enchantment. While exploring the trove of gowns and accessories at the mall, a beautiful royal blue dress called out to them. It was sheer kismet—the gown was Lana’s favorite color, and it fit her like the proverbial glove. The radiant smile on the teen’s face was her mentor’s greatest reward.
While McNamara and Lana are no longer an official Big and Little, they have stayed in touch, even taking a two-day trip to New York City. McNamara states unequivocally that they will be connected forever. “We are friends for life,” she says.
Mentoring Lana has enriched McNamara’s own life and garnered her the exalted title of Big Sister of the Year for 2025. Her rewarding experience inspired her husband, Tim, along with two of their adult sons, to become Big Brothers.
When McNamara’s kids were little, she would put a Hershey’s Kiss in their pocket when they faced a challenging day. About Big Brothers Big Sisters, she says, “BBBS is like a kiss in a child’s pocket reminding them they have someone in their corner to make their life a little easier.”
BIG BROTHERS BIG SISTERS OF NEW HAMPSHIRE
2026 will mark BBBS of New Hampshire’s 60th year serving Granite State children ages six to 18, or through high school graduation. This Seacoast-based nonprofit is a paying affiliate of the national BBBS network, and their fundraising is local and grassroots. The November Thankful Giving campaign runs through November and December, when participating businesses will match any donation. All proceeds support the mission of empowering kids through life-changing mentorships. For more information, go to www.bbbsnh.org.
"BBBS is like a kiss in a child’s pocket reminding them they have someone in their corner to make their life a little easier."