You’re rooted here in Nashville near Radnor Lake—a place many people associate with reflection and calm. What does “home” mean to you right now in your life?
This is such a great question that comes at a time when I am traveling frequently and often out of the country for work for sometimes longer periods of time. It's also the sweet spot in which I have one college daughter that is studying abroad in Singapore right now and another that is just a few short months from graduation and making me a true empty nester. So, what is home? Home to me is a feeling. It's a place that you go that gives you calm and sometimes that is with the people you love and other times, it is alone. I think, once we find the place in which we can sit in calm and happiness with our lives, home can be almost anywhere.
You’re passionate about self-improvement. What first sparked that journey for you?
When I turned 50 a couple of years ago, I realized that I had lived my life mostly putting myself on the back-burner, as we often do as wives and moms, I had forgotten what I liked and what made me tick. I think I wanted to have a second chapter, that a lot of women are feeling right now in their fifties, where I wanted to discover who I am this go round. I started to book travel, solo and with my girls, I started pouring into the discovery of who Elise is now. It was when I made that step, that everything shifted and it has truly been a beautiful journey.
What does “loving yourself first” actually look like in your everyday life?
I have a practice that I adopted a couple of years ago. Every night when I go to bed, I say three things I am grateful for and one thing that I hope to gain the knowledge to be able to figure out or achieve. There have been nights that I am grateful for something that might have been hard, but I am grateful for the lesson it brought or the shift that transpired from it. Loving yourself means accepting and realizing that every single part of our lives has necessarily brought us to exactly where we need to be at this moment.
As a single woman, how has this season of life shaped your perspective on relationships?
I love being single. Dating in your fifties is so amazing. You have such better guidelines and intuition than you did in your twenties and very clearly defined boundaries. I know what I bring to the table, and I don't need someone to provide anything for me that I might have thought I needed before. It's truly freeing.
We are also such different humans than when we started this whole process, right? I mean hopefully we are! The Elise at 23 is very different from the Elise at 52 and rightly so. While I loved that younger girl... the older, wiser one is certainly having the time of my life seeing the world and taking care of me.
Do you have a favorite ritual or practice that keeps you centered?
I love to hike. I am a believer in mind-body and practice yoga and pilates. I think being outdoors and sunshine are the best vitamins you can take. Traveling and touching things and pushing yourself just opens the world for you and makes perspective so much different. Rituals would probably be morning coffee and the sun rising over my pool, walks with my dogs and my grateful practice that I mentioned above.
What’s a misconception people have about self-improvement?
I think people get so caught up in feeling like they have failed at something so they need to pivot and try to succeed elsewhere. I don't believe we ever "fail" at anything. We look at those moments of "not quite" as nudges that push us to a different path or a different foot, but in the same- maybe slightly different - direction. I have always said to my girls, if we always win, we lose the lesson.
What advice would you give to someone learning how to prioritize themselves without guilt?
Sit with yourself and get to know who you are. Write a letter to yourself, what is your favorite music and how does it make you feel? Travel solo and listen to the world around you - it will make these things that seem so big suddenly seem small. Learn to trust your decisions, accept that things going "wrong" are often things going right...mainly get to know this version of you and thank the old version for getting you there.
When you think about “loving local,” what does that phrase mean to you personally?
Loving Local to me means supporting the community around you. Giving back in a way, through either time or service, listening to others and being aware of how you are needed, because that will change. Being present, I guess.
What’s one thing you’re currently working on within yourself?
I have a book inside that's been brewing. I am working on finding time to finish it on paper. I am also working on making a list if I feel overbooked and being able to say "what is necessary?' and letting the rest go.
Finally, what does a well-lived life look like to you?
This makes me think of the quote from Mary Oliver "Tell us, what is it you plan to do with this one wild and precious life?" It is probably one of my favorites ever. A well-lived life to me might look very different from a well-lived life to you. I would say a life led not by comparison, but by passion. A life where you find your voice to speak your truth but in a way that leaves a legacy you are proud of. A life where people remember how you made them feel and miss the feeling you gave when you are gone.