Reclaiming Joy

A new year has the power to help us contemplate the previous twelve months. This solemn reflection offers an opportunity to authentically move through each year mindfully. Truth is, there are years that stretch us beyond recognition and years that seem to dismantle the identities we’ve built. Difficult years can leave us wondering if we’ll ever feel okay again.

Paradoxically; even through the toughest times, or when your life demands all your energy just to keep going, joy never really disappears. Instead, it gets buried beneath the weight of survival. Reclaiming joy isn’t about forcing positivity. It’s about learning how to authentically face yourself again, slowly, gently and honestly.

The Cliche of “Bouncing Back”

Humans love a comeback story. We tend to praise resilience but deny support for the struggle. Let’s change that. Hardships offer us an opportunity to step more fully into ourselves, and return softer, wiser and more grounded in truth. As a licensed psychotherapist who continually supports people recovering from adversity, I’ve developed a supportive guide to help you reclaim the joy that is rightfully yours.

You’ve Got Name It To Tame It

We can’t bypass the hardest truth: Every difficult season brings invisible grief. Your year may have involved mourning a loved one, a relationship, a dream or the sense of safety and predictability you once had. The first step toward joy is acknowledging the loss instead of suppressing its sadness. All the recent neuroscience research has taught us that once our brain can label and identify an experience, we are then able to process it with more clarity and objectivity.

Try: creating a personal ritual of release: light a candle, name what has changed and read it aloud. When you allow your body to feel the weight of your story, you begin to create space for something new to enter.

**Reconnect With Your Mind And Body**

It’s normal to experience a disconnection between the mind and body during high conflict times. You might feel stuck in your head, constantly analyzing or ruminating over what went wrong. Staying in that intellectual space prevents us from tapping into the way our body is holding onto stress. Before you know it, your body will begin to give you signals that something is not okay.

Many peer reviewed studies have shown that chronic stress impacts the onset of many physical ailments. In Ayurveda, the ancient system of mind-body healing, joy is considered an energy that flows naturally when your life force (prana) is balanced. When you nurture your body with warmth, rest and nourishment, that flow begins to return, and with it, your vitality too.

Try: Incorporate body stretches when you wake up, take a slow walk without your phone, breathe deeply into your belly.

Cultivate Gratitude For The Microjoys

Joy doesn’t always arrive as fireworks or grand gestures. More often, it shines through the cracks of the ordinary. These moments are known as microjoys; like the smell of coffee in the morning. A beam of sunlight through your window. Feeling your pets unconditional love or witnessing the magic inherent in nature. Over time, noticing helps rewire your brain to remember: joy is still possible.

Try: Keep a daily “Microjoys” list, like a short note each night naming something small that made you feel a flicker of peace or delight.

Build Emotional Awareness

True joy doesn’t come from avoiding pain, it comes from allowing the full range of your emotions to exist. When you suppress sadness, anger or fear, you also suppress happiness.

Try: When you notice a difficult feeling, pause and name it. Ask yourself, “What does this feeling need from me right now?” Sometimes the answer is rest. Sometimes it’s movement. Sometimes it’s reaching out for support.

*If you’ve experienced trauma, therapy that includes somatic or mindfulness-based approaches, like Brainspotting can help you safely reconnect with your emotions.

Rebuild Social Support

Pain thrives in isolation. You may have withdrawn from relationships or felt misunderstood in them. But joy is relational, it multiplies through connection. Research shows that quantity is not what is important here; it’s the quality of your friendships. One friendship that is based in authentic truth sharing, support and laughter, is enough!

Try: Send your friends a text letting them know you’re thinking of them. Then make some plans to have fun together!

Keep Discerning Aligned Choices

Hardships can cloud decision making. Living with purpose means aligning your choices with your values, even if it means choosing the harder path. For some, that might mean slowing down. For others, it’s saying yes to something new. The shift happens when your energy goes toward what nourishes you, not what drains you.

Try: Instead of, “How can I do more?” ask, “What feels meaningful now? What is true for me now?”

Make Time For Play

Play is joy in motion and it’s deeply restorative. It tells your nervous system, “We are safe enough to explore again.” You don’t need a plan, just curiosity. Play helps you reclaim spontaneity, the essence of feeling alive.

Try: Experiment with something you've never done before, even in a small way. Paint without judging the outcome. Sing while you cook. Wander without a destination.

Call In Givers

Sometimes being a giver feels easier and those who expend so much energy on supporting others may struggle to receive without guilt. Yet joy is deeply connected to our ability to receive: compliments, help, beauty, love...

Try: Practice pausing when something kind comes your way. Let it land. Resist the urge to minimize or deflect kindness. Breath and say thank you.

Trust That Growth Is Not Linear

It’s not possible to remain in a perfect state of bliss. Instead, joy comes back quietly, in whispers and glimpses. Contrary to how we chronologically age, the rest of life moves in convoluted spirals, not straight lines.

Try: Mindfulness practices. This allows you to stay rooted in the present, without judging your thoughts or feelings. This fosters acceptance and reorients your focus to the present moment.