“Our next business, after this will be to discuss Friendship. For friendship is a virtue, or involves virtue; and also it is one of the most indispensable requirements of life. For no one would choose to live without friends, but possessing all other good things.” Aristotle, in Book 8 of his Nicomachean Ethics, poetically described how to live the best life by elevating one of our most fundamental functions of humanity. Friendship. “Friends are the ultimate “biohack”, Simon Sinek passionately states to Jay Shetty in his June 2025 interview about loneliness. “Friends,” he says, “can help fix anxiety, depression, the inability to cope with stress and even increase longevity”. So, do you have the type of friendships that elevate you to help you live your best life? Do you have many or do you have few? Do you have any at all? Who is in your friendship wallet?
But, before we answer this question, let’s define what friendship is and its associated value. Simon Sinek observes that every friendship does not have to be a deep and meaningful relationship, but every friendship does need to be additive; in other words, it needs to be worth your investment of time. Aristotle agrees with this sentiment and classifies friendships into 3 categories, utility, pleasure and virtuous, to illustrate this point. Utility is the type of friendship you may have with a business colleague or a study group. This relationship is based on a means to an end, a way to gain something useful. Pleasure is all about shared enjoyment and having a rocking good time together through activities, such as hobbies and recreation. However, the “perfect” friendship, as
Aristotle describes, is the friendship of virtue. This is the highest form of friendship. It is based on a deep level of mutual respect, admiration and understanding of each other and has the potential to last a lifetime. He explains this type of friendship is essential for personal happiness in order to live your best life. It gives the participants the ability to experience a profound and meaningful bond that is unavailable in any other type of friendship. In fact, Aristotle believes it is so important to living your best life that he dedicated about a fifth of his writings to friendship in the Nicomachean Ethics.
Even the Surgeon General of the United States recognizes the inherent need for quality friendships to live a healthy lifestyle. In 2023, Dr. Vivek H. Murthy wrote a heartfelt letter to the American people as an introduction to his published Advisory designating loneliness and isolation, the lack of social connection, as an epidemic plaguing American society. When he took office in 2014, he embarked on a cross-country tour and heard many stories of individuals feeling “isolated, invisible and insignificant”. This feeling was communicated equally from men and women of all ages and across all socioeconomic and cultural backgrounds. He was shocked how indiscriminate and prevalent this feeling was and how ultimately devastating it is on our mental, emotional and physical wellbeing. His Advisory highlighted scientific studies that confirmed what he heard directly from the American people-one in two adults reported experiencing loneliness before Covid 19. Loneliness is associated with a greater risk of cardiovascular disease, dementia, stroke, depression, anxiety and even premature death. Being socially disconnected has the same effect on our health as smoking 15 cigarettes a day. Dr. Murthy eloquently conveys how “we will continue to splinter and divide until we can no longer stand as a community or a country. Instead of coming together to take on the great challenges before us, we will further retreat to our corners- angry, sick and alone.” His plea to we, the American people, is simple. Today, we must develop and strengthen our connections by building quality relationships, a directive echoed over 2000 years ago by Aristotle.
Juan Mann embraced this perspective in 2004, when he realized he needed something more. His life was in shambles in London which forced him back home to Sydney. When he disembarked the plane, no one was there to greet him, to welcome him home. He felt like a stranger in his own hometown. As he stood in the terminal, watching other passengers being enthusiastically greeted with open arms, smiling faces and warm hugs, he felt incredibly alone. He wanted someone out there to be happy to see him, to smile at him, to hug him like there is no tomorrow. I believe all of us, at least once in our lives, has felt the same as Juan. But, instead of going home, sad and miserable, Juan set out to find that happiness, that friendship, in a hug. He went to the busiest pedestrian intersection in the city, wrote “Free Hugs” on a cardboard sign and just stood, waiting for that first hug.
After about 15 minutes of passersby staring at him, a petite, older woman stopped beside him, reached up, tapped him on the shoulder and told him how her dog had just died that morning. And how that very same morning was the one year anniversary of her only daughter dying in a car accident. Pausing, she then told him what she needed most, at a time when she felt all alone, was a hug. He knelt down; they put their arms around each other and hugged. When she finally let go, she was smiling. When was the last time you hugged someone long enough to feel the oxytocin rush through your body and make you smile? Or better yet, when was the last time you hugged someone and waited until they let go first? You are the company that you keep. Passionately, seek out those, no matter the type of friendship, who enhance your life for the better and enjoy them as frequently as possible. Be vulnerable. Be passionate. Embrace Life. Embrace Friendships. Embrace You and Live your best life.
"Today, we must develop and strengthen our connections by building quality relationships"