“A good dinner is of great importance to good talk. One cannot think well, love well, sleep well, if one has not dined well”, Virginia Woolf penned in 1929 in A Room of One’s Own. Throughout history, many have described our relationship with food as a passionate language of love. However, in our modern times, do we have this type of relationship, as Ms. Woolf described, with our food almost a hundred years later?
Tom McGehee, House Director of Bellingrath Gardens in Theodore, Alabama believes that our relationship with food is much more than just eating, it is about community. He also feels we have lost the “art of the home,” our internal community of living, loving and learning that begins and ends at the kitchen table. As a result, we have tried to replace that sense of community outside of the home, without much success.
The Bellingraths designed their home around this philosophy of community within the home, so I decided to take a tour to see it for myself with Mr. McGehee as my tour guide. As we walked into the entrance of the Bellingrath home, our gaze immediately fell upon the grand formal dining room and its elegantly appointed table. Our eyes were captivated by the rich colors of the vibrant red and cream textiles surrounding the dining room table directly in front of us.
Mr. McGehee proudly stated with indelible emotion in his eyes and voice, “This dining room is one of the most photographed rooms in the South.” There is little reason to question the authenticity of his statement while standing and beholding the warmth and vitality of the room. It feels intimate, charming, and best of all, inviting. Nothing stiff or formal, even though the handsomely appointed table exudes the importance placed upon etiquette and beauty. Guests were expected to delight in a memorable dining experience that engaged all the senses of one’s heart, mind and soul.
Mr. McGehee explained that dining well for Mrs. Bellingrath was not only reserved for formal occasions; it was interwoven into the fabric of daily life within a home that was designed to be an inviting space centered around the enjoyment of food, company and conversation. Imagine two more dining rooms of lesser size and formality flanking the kitchen but with the same expectation of intimate dining, even a simple supper on a Sunday night. The household staff were also included in this expectation, having a beautiful marble topped table in the kitchen for meal times so they may gather and enjoy one another. Mrs. Bellingrath believed that every meal should be an uplifting experience, not utilitarian, no matter the person or occasion.
The Bellingrath home was built almost a century ago and since that time, home design has transformed dramatically as have our daily habits and interpretation of community, roles, and responsibilities within our homes. Has this change made us better or worse? When we do eat in our homes, do we dine or just consume food? Do we even have a table to gather around?
"Today’s homes are designed for cost, not community”, shares Jana Alarid of Coldwell Bankers Realty. Her observation became an indisputable fact as we toured homes of varying sizes and ages throughout Pensacola. Ms. Alarid explained that the postmodern homeowner of today is looking for a practical layout in a home to accommodate remote work. It is designed more for utilitarian purposes than comfort and community. In other words, it is a house, not a home.
Then, how can the design of the modern house be modified to improve the life we live at home? By having the kitchen table as its center. Ms. Alarid explained, “The center of the home should be on the dining. Where I am from, people always gather around the kitchen table, friends and family, where we
make food and eat food. The center should be where the family can eat together, play together, and just be together. Every house should have a space with a large dining table near the kitchen so
it is natural for the family to sit down and eat around the table, no matter the shape, look at each other and talk.” What a novel concept in our world of technology, no screen time, just authentic face time where family and friends can merrily gather around the kitchen table as a shared community to drink, talk, play, and most importantly, to dine. Isn't a home what we crave more than a place just to house our things?
It seems like Dorothy may have gotten it right after all when she said in The Wizard of Oz, “There is no place like home.” I have discovered that even I can create that sense of community by dining, not just eating, at home with a beautifully dressed table for one or for many. I believe it’s time to reserve a table. At home. For me and my community. Why? Because I am worth it. And so are you.
Show us YOUR table, tell us how you use it, and tag us @pensacolacitylifestyle
"food is much more than just eating, it is about community."