My parents started fostering children when I was 10 years old. Our first placement was a family of three, including two children under 2. Suddenly, dinners at my grandparents’ house, with the carefully curated selection of breakables, fine china and crystal, no longer felt like a relaxing holiday experience. Our leisurely holiday dinners became much shorter affairs.
In Julius Caesar’s words: We came, we ate, we left.
Craving more family connection, my mother, only in her mid-30s at the time, took it upon herself to start hosting our 30- to 45-person holiday gatherings.
My grandmother, an interior designer and florist, always set a beautiful table with a crisp white tablecloth and florals. Fortunately, the apple didn’t fall far from the tree. Given that she’s an artist, antique collector and designer herself, my mother wasn’t intimidated to take up the mantle.
Now, every holiday, I look forward to seeing what she’s dreamed up and the care she puts into every detail. A few years ago, she even acquired all of my grandparents' wedding china, gifted to them more than 66 years ago, so she could nostalgically set the table with it every Christmas.
But perhaps what I am most grateful for is that my mother never shies away from adding more table settings. For all the care she puts into making the space lovely, she has always made it clear that the people gathered around it matter more.
When I tell her about a family or neighbor who needs somewhere to spend the holidays, she extends an invitation. I am forever proud to show off her creativity and introduce my rather loud and boisterous family.
To learn how to set a table like hers, she and I spent a weekend mocking up Thanksgiving and Christmas tables (pictured here). These are her best tips for creating a memorable tablescape.
What You’ll Need
One item that inspires you: Throughout the year, keep your eye out for something you love that you can build your table’s theme around, like our family's stuffed duck "Angel" and vintage crockery shown here. Your inspiration doesn’t have to be expensive or traditionally “holiday.” Start with something you love and build around it.
Floral foam: Use foam to secure stems and add structure to your arrangement. You can purchase it locally at Arizona Flower Market.
A long white tablecloth: Use this as your base, preferably choosing one long enough to kiss the ground on all four sides.
A topper: Add a shorter tablecloth, runner or fabric that catches your eye. Let this piece dictate the color palette for the rest of your table.
Flowers and greenery: Buy a few show-stopping blooms, such as garden roses, but don’t be afraid to forage from your own yard or a neighbor’s (with permission, of course). For these centerpieces, we picked local wildflowers and greenery from trees and bushes and incorporated pomegranates from my yard.
Create Your Arrangement
To create a floral centerpiece, start by filling your bowl or vase with greenery to establish the shape and create a base. Next, choose your prettiest, largest bloom and place it near the center as the arrangement’s highest point.
From there, add flowers in loose groups of three, imagining the three blooms as the points of a triangle. As you work your way around the arrangement, shift the position and angle of each new triangle rather than lining up identical flowers in rows. Place some blooms slightly higher, lower or farther to one side so the arrangement feels layered and organic.
Continue filling gaps with smaller flowers and greenery until the centerpiece looks full and balanced from every side. Don’t worry about making it perfectly symmetrical. Part of the beauty comes from allowing the flowers and greenery to move naturally.
Pro Tip
Keep centerpieces no taller than 12 inches. Anything taller can make it difficult for guests to see and talk to one another across the table. After all, a beautiful table should bring people together, not get in their way.
Set the Table
Begin with your white tablecloth, then drape your topper over it.
If your inspirational item is large, use it as your main centerpiece and add two smaller arrangements on either side to create balance. If it’s small, place it somewhere less conspicuous on the table as a little surprise for observant guests to discover.
For each place setting, put the dinner plate in the center and arrange silverware in the order it will be used, working from the outside in. Place forks to the left of the plate, with the dinner fork closest to the plate and the salad fork to its left.
Place the dinner knife immediately to the right of the plate, with the blade facing inward, followed by the spoon. If you’re serving additional courses, add the appropriate utensils farther from the plate in the order guests will need them. Place the water glass above the knife, with additional glassware beside it as needed.
Napkins can be placed to the left of the forks, beneath them or on top of the plate, depending on the look you’re going for. The important thing is consistency from one place setting to the next.
You can individualize each place setting with a name card or let guests choose their own seats. Don’t feel as if you have to be a calligraphy master to make place cards beautiful. A handwritten name shows love and adds a human touch.
Watching my mother set a table all these years, it's truly that human touch that draws people to the table.
“Perhaps what I am most grateful for is that my mother never shies away from adding more people to the table, always extending another invitation.”
Start with something you love and build around it, adding flowers, greenery and meaningful pieces until the table begins to feel uniquely like your own.
Third Quote:
Ultimately, that’s what I’ve learned from watching my mother set a table all these years: The human touch is everything for those who need a place to gather. A beautiful table matters, but making room for the people who need a seat matters even more.