I’d been the good girl all my life: I’d climbed every ladder and checked every box and if you saw me from the outside, I had it all. The career, the love, the family life. But on the inside? My nervous system didn’t care if I felt at ease, calm, or safe. It wanted to make me feel like if my wheels weren't spinning, something was wrong.
I became overly anxious and hypervigilant, always worrying about everyone else and what they thought about me. I’d been battling people pleasing and perfectionism all my life, so imagine my surprise when it still showed up, even when my life was perfect, at least on paper.
Did you feel that in your bones? Whether you’re a business owner, boss mom, side hustler, momtrepreneur, or woman looking to process out of trauma, coaching may be a space for breakthrough.
Beka Gaskin knew she had to make a change in order to live the full life she was called to, and from those experiences of digging deep alone, she now works to help women uncover the rare beauty that’s always been underneath, so they can feel more confident, safe, and secure in their bodies, no matter what’s happening on the outside.
“I knew I had to make a change and that I was the only one who could do it. So, I started studying the nervous system, somatics, and trauma so I could self-create a sense of joy, easefulness, and satisfaction,” she explained.
As her healing progressed, she developed a process that allowed others to walk through healing the way she did.
“I always say that a coach shows you the playbook. I lay everything out in my workbook and it’s a comprehensive guide to connection to the nervous system, discovering parts of ourselves, our attachment style and making the goals and desires of the client safe in the body,” she says.
As a coach, Beka walks with you to uncover patterns that no longer serve you, restore dignity, and show you that you are braver than your worst fears using a down to earth, educational approach that shares the science of somatics and regulating the nervous system, without feeling like you’re in a PSYCH101 college classroom. Clients find self-healing with someone who is vulnerable and authentic, being able to share common experiences and feelings along your storyline.
“I love connecting with new women who have tried everything and are tired of holding it all up. Once they binge my insta or check out my webpage and feel a connection to my work, they can click the link to set up a discovery call at a time of their choosing,” Beka explains, “On that call, we will talk about how they are feeling now, how they would like to feel and how likely they are to get there on their own without support. We will talk about the logistics of the program as well as how the container can support them in their goals. If it feels like a good fit for us both, we will set up a time to meet weekly whether in 1:1 work or group work, as coaching spots are available.”
Looking for a little self-love this February? Beka shares these three steps to loving yourself a little more this month of hearts and flowers because you deserve that warm and fuzzy feeling.
Awareness - The first step would be noticing yourself. How can we begin to love ourselves at all if we aren’t connected to what we are actually experiencing? Noticing the sensations in our bodies, being able to be curious about our feelings and emotions and making time to create safety and stability in our nervous systems allows us more insight into our needs and our voice. What can often hold us back from self love is an old blueprint that if we want to keep love we have to hyper-fixate on everyone else’s needs. This can keep us connected to others, but at the expense of our own inner world. This can make it so easy to blame others, get resentful and feel comparison for our own lack of self care. If we can find the courage to reconnect to our own sense of self, we can often be open to the idea of what we might need to create the experiences that restore our well-being and connection to joy.
Attunement - Once we are able to track sensations in our nervous systems and know what it is we need, not only can we begin to meet those needs, we can also notice how our old adaptive survival responses might be holding us back from the life we want. By becoming aware of these things, we can show up for ourselves in new ways. It can be really empowering to learn new ways to navigate moments of dysregulation. It can also help rewrite old stories, because as we take care of ourselves in new ways, we can show ourselves that it is safe to receive the kind of care and compassion that we truly need and desire.
Allowing Support - Co-regulation is one of the key factors in healing from old patterns, past traumas and the nervous system. Without safe connection it can be very unlikely to experience the kind of transformation or change we desire. With safe support by our side we are able to step into the new found connection to our inner world with just the right amount of neural challenge. It can be very overwhelming to try and make changes alone, oftentimes replaying the cycle of past shame. Not only can it be supportive as we try new ways, but receiving the right support can give us the ability to celebrate our progress and stay connected to the anchor of connection even in challenging seasons.
Lastly, Beka says don't let fears hold you back, "You are worthy of discovering and experiencing the life you desire. Your life doesn’t only have to look good from the outside, it can also feel good on the inside. No one else can take care of you like you can. What will be different in your life six months from today if you don’t allow yourself to receive the support you need to become the person who you have always been?"
So if you are looking for someone to serve you in your path toward self-validation, motivate your personal experience and inner world, so that you honor who you are; someone to help you intentionally clear, clean out, or remove bad energy in the form of people, places, or beliefs that don’t serve the true self, and will guide you as you allow the hard exterior of self-protection to melt away and reveal the true self that glows underneath, visit BekaGaskin.com for more information.
Rediscover hidden qualities, desires, dreams, goals, and other personality traits that have been hidden from the world and let them become the source of light at bekagaskin.com and Instagram.com/bekagaskin
You weren’t made to hide your wholeness, you were made to be loved unconditionally, not just on your best day, every part of you is lovable and worthy.
Are you ready to rediscover the hidden qualities, desires, dreams, goals, and other personality traits that you have been hiding from the world? Head to BekaGaskin.com to get started. Instagram @bekagaskin