Thanksgiving, for all its charm, is a paradox. On one hand, it’s a Norman Rockwell painting: golden turkey, polished silver, family gathered in gratitude. On the other, it can feel like a masterclass in stress management disguised as a holiday. The turkey may be roasting, but often it’s the guests who get roasted by questions about careers, relationships, or politics that no cranberry sauce can sweeten.
It’s no wonder the holidays can feel less like a homecoming and more like an obstacle course. We walk back into our childhood kitchens and suddenly we’re younger versions of ourselves again—biting our tongues and shelving our needs to keep the peace. These patterns are common, says Dr. Vassilia Binensztok, founder of Juno Counseling & Wellness. “When you’re not used to being confident, confidence feels like arrogance,” she explains. “When you’re not used to getting your needs met, prioritizing yourself feels selfish. Your comfort zone is not a good benchmark.”
That perspective matters during the holidays, when “comfort zones” aren’t always comfortable. Familiarity often locks us in old roles. The work is noticing where those roles no longer fit—and giving ourselves permission to show up as who we’ve become, not who our families remember.
Of course, Thanksgiving isn’t only about inner growth. It’s also about logistics. “Think of your kitchen as a calm harbor,” Dr. Vassilia encourages. Most sides and pies can be prepped in advance so the big day feels like coasting instead of scrambling. That way, you’re present not just in the room, but at your own table.
And when conversation veers toward landmines? "Excuse yourself to check the gravy," Dr. Vassilia suggests. "It buys you a breath, and sometimes that’s all it takes to reset the mood."
Even better, reshape the table talk with small rituals that feel stylish and grounding—a brass bell each guest rings before sharing what they’re thankful for, or a one-word toast before dessert, where everyone sums up their year in a single word. Simple and candid, these traditions bring the focus back to connection.
Ultimately, Thanksgiving isn’t about flawlessly navigating every exchange. It’s about the small ways you’re different from last year—the firmer boundaries, louder gratitude, or presence you allow yourself. With foresight, breathing room, and courage to try again, you just might find yourself not only surviving the season, but savoring it.
____________
Dr. Vassilia Binensztok is represented by Shift Media, a leading PR and communications agency in West Palm Beach. To work with Shift Media, please contact marketing@shiftmediastudio.com or visit shiftmediastudio.com.