In today’s world, it’s almost impossible to avoid the pain and suffering of others.
Between the 24-hour news cycle, social media feeds that refresh every few seconds, and the reality of what’s happening in our own communities and around the world, we are constantly witnessing the distress of others. While awareness can build empathy and connection, it can also take a toll on our wellbeing.
Even here in Bergen County, where strong communities often rally together during difficult moments, residents are not immune to the emotional weight of what they see happening both locally and globally.
This is where secondary traumatic stress, or STS, comes in.
Secondary traumatic stress refers to the natural emotional and behavioral responses that can occur when we are exposed to someone else’s trauma or suffering. According to the Office for Victims of Crime, STS is the stress that results from helping, or wanting to help someone who has experienced a traumatic event.
You don’t have to be a first responder, therapist, or healthcare worker to feel it. People working in high-stress environments may be more vulnerable, but in this digital age, exposure to trauma crosses everyone’s path.
It can show up when you watch heartbreaking images on the news. It may surface when a friend shares a painful story. It makes its presence known when your child is struggling, or when a colleague confides in you about a difficult situation. You may feel it as if it were your own because your nervous system has one job: to keep you alive and safe.
And it doesn’t understand time or space.
Our brains are constantly downloading information much like a computer operating system. And just like when too many programs are running at once, the system slows, freezes or crashes.
We’re living in a global village where everything is accessible. Keywords, hashtags and trending stories keep us connected, but they also create information overload. Sometimes the language we use to describe what we’re feeling becomes blurred.
Take burnout, for example. It’s a term that gets used often. It typically stems from chronic workplace stress, long hours, lack of support and feeling inundated by responsibilities. But burnout and secondary traumatic stress are not the same thing.
Burnout is usually related to prolonged stress and exhaustion tied to work demands. Secondary traumatic stress, on the other hand, involves exposure to someone else’s trauma or suffering as a key component. The symptoms can look similar.
You might experience mood changes, anxiety, sadness or irritability. Sleep patterns may shift. Appetite may change. You might feel mentally foggy or emotionally drained.
The symptoms may also be physical, including headaches, digestive issues, muscle tension or fatigue. Emotionally, people may experience a loss of purpose, hope or connection to things that once brought joy.
In more serious cases, unaddressed stress can increase the risk of substance use or negative thoughts. That’s why creating a trauma-informed culture—from the living room to the boardroom—is so important.
The truth is that secondary trauma may impact you, but it doesn’t own you. Awareness is the first step. And the good news is that there are ways to protect your wellbeing.
So if the world feels heavy lately, here are ten ways to be kind to your mind and support your resilience.
1. Set Healthy Boundaries
Be mindful of what you allow into your space — not just physically, but emotionally and digitally. It’s okay to step away from the news cycle or limit social media if your bandwidth is tapped.
2. Pace Your Exposure
If your work involves helping others through difficult situations, try to balance heavier cases with lighter responsibilities when possible. Spacing things out can make a meaningful difference.
3. Honor Your Sleep
Sleep is one of the brain’s most powerful reset buttons. Prioritize rest and create a wind-down routine that helps your nervous system shift into recovery mode.
4. Nourish Your Body
What we eat fuels not just our physical health, but also our mental clarity and emotional resilience.
5. Get Physical
Movement and physical activity release endorphins—the brain’s natural mood booster—helping discharge built-up stress.
6. Focus on Good Moments
When the world feels overwhelming, intentionally look for small moments of positivity. They exist more often than we think.
7. Stay Connected
Isolation amplifies stress. Reaching out to trusted friends or loved ones can help you process emotions and feel supported.
8. Lean on Peer Support
If your work exposes you to difficult stories or situations, talking with colleagues who understand the experience can be incredibly validating.
9. Ask for Help
Seeking support from a supervisor, mentor or mental health professional is not a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of awareness.
10. Protect Your Nervous System
Practices that calm the brain and body—such as mindful breathing, movement or self-regulation techniques—can help your system settle and restore balance.
The reality is that caring about others means we will sometimes feel the weight of their struggles. That’s part of being human. But compassion for others has to include compassion for ourselves.
While we may not always be able to control what’s happening in the world around us, sometimes the most powerful thing we can do is learn how to protect our inner world and be kind to our minds.
“Secondary trauma may affect you, but it does not define you.”