Despite differences in culture, geography, and taste, food is a universal experience. It sustains us, but it also brings people together. For this feature, we invited local residents from all walks of life to share personal reflections on how food has shaped their family.
What role does food or sharing a meal play in your family life?
“It’s the way I show love. For me it's about compassion, connection, caring. I don’t use recipes, I smell things, I taste it. When it feels right it’s done. When I watch people eat I feel warm inside, it’s my way of connecting and loving people.
“Growing up with my father being Greek, food was very important in connecting family. Everything had to be made, so I always knew what I was eating was something someone took the time to prepare. It was done during times of celebration, during times of sickness, during times of sadness. Showing others you care for them was always done through food.”
— Despina Mitchell, Webster
“I grew up in a traditional household of four, which included my father, mother, myself, and younger sister. My father was a busy pastor, my mother was a busy school teacher, yet always managed to have dinner cooked and ready at a standard dinner time daily. At various times in my adult life, in various iterations on the spectrum, from single to married, to single again, I have tried to maintain a balance with traditional home cooked meals whenever possible. When successfully achieved, there is nothing that compares to the joyous fellowship around the table sharing in a meal prepared with love.”
— Pastor JD Jackson Jr., Pittsford
How have meals shaped your family traditions or routines?
“We always had a dinner hour, which was a stable feature in our lives. Once a year, we came together for our harvest dinner that included vegetables from the garden. Cousins came, aunts and uncles, my children. We had a day of community and gathering, just reconnecting. It was a family reunion of sorts based around the food that came out of the garden.”
—Jeanne Randall, Fairport
“The food of each other's heritage has been a part of our daily life since childhood. Mike's [her husband] mother is 100% Italian, so he grew and passed down recipes of both his grandmother and his mother. Now he is the one who makes the sauce for our family dinners and for Christmas Day dinner at our home. It's tradition, and it's something he won't ever give up, because, to quote him, ‘This is a way of keeping our family members alive and around our table, so our children can enjoy what we did as kids, then they share with our grandkids. And so, in some way, they are a part of our ancestors' lives even though they aren't physically with us anymore.’ I think that is just so beautiful! Ukrainian and Italian—we both agree on keeping these traditions alive.”
— Christina Walsh, Webster
What memories come to mind when you think about eating with family?
“Traditionally at our Sabbath dinner we serve brisket and roast chicken as the entrees. I remember having Friday dinner at my sister and brother-in-law's home. I had brought the brisket. Using a version of my mother’s recipe, which included a lot of ketchup.
“Our son and daughter, their spouses and children, our nieces were all there. Our son had brought their white fluffy dog Mocha along. She was beloved to all the family. We started with prayers, appetizers, and were enjoying our entrees. The buffet of food was in the kitchen.
“Suddenly, in walked Mocha, with a very red beard. Apparently she had jumped from the family room couch to the table and dove into this big platter of brisket. It was one of the funniest sights I’d ever seen. The laughter was worth the loss of the brisket.”
— Enid Ryen
“The family recipe for borscht on my Polish side was a recipe handed down by my grandmother, possibly before her, that I continued to make for my uncle on my mother’s side. It was something he looked forward to my making twice a year until his passing.”
— Jeanne Randall
“My dad used to have to leave at 3 a.m to go to work, and I remember waking up at 7 and having to go to school and there would be homemade oatmeal still warm because he would lay towels over it so it would be warm when we woke up.”
— Despina Mitchell
Is there a particular dish or mealtime moment that stands out in your family story?
“For me, it's my grandmother's potato soup. They lived in Ukraine and were not wealthy—so soup was made with water, and that water was flavored with aromatics. No matter who I make it for, they fall in love with it, just like we did. My grandmother had me make it with her when I was about 11 years old, and she didn't measure a thing. All she said in her broken English was, ‘Lotta water, potato, carrots, celery, salt, pepper, garlic, and two hand pastina.’ Again, anyone I make this for deems it pure comfort food, and I love making this for my dad. It reminds him of his mother, and that makes me so happy.”
— Christina Walsh
“Our family traditional mealtime moments which I grew up with as a child are now maintained during those monthly meals at my mother's. Typically on a Sunday we sit down to eat at my mother's with double of everything that would be in a four-course meal. Two types of vegetable, two starches, two meat dishes and accompanied by cornbread or dinner rolls, if not both.”
— Pastor JD Jackson Jr.