The list of success stories illustrates the needs: a detective whose marriage was saved by reading a particular book; spouses who now understood their officer-spouses after attending a conference; a sergeant who learned to improve his relationships with his spouse and children; police officers receiving mental health support; dozens of reassured spouses; children getting referrals for therapy, funded by donor gifts...
It goes on and on, the helpful impact one organization has had on law enforcement officers and their family members. How 2 Love Our Cops (H2LOC)—founded by Victoria Newman, whose husband, Brent, worked for California Highway Patrol for 31 years until he retired in 2019—is a national nonprofit organization that helps law enforcement families thrive “relationally, emotionally and spiritually,” she says.
In the beginning, Victoria Newman says, almost as soon as Brent emerged from the CHP academy in the late ’80s, she realized “there was something different about being in law enforcement.” She and Brent witnessed “broken cops” and their fractured families, and were alarmed by the high divorce rate. “I vowed I would put my big-girl pants on and support Brent,” she says.
Not only that but as their family grew and Brent’s career with CHP soared, tragedies were happening around them. The incidence of fallen officers—in the line of duty and off duty, due to post-traumatic stress, addiction and severed relationships—got her attention. “Many times, the final straw is the loss of the spouse,” says Victoria, who began to ponder writing a book about law enforcement marriage.
She dove into the research, conducting interviews and seriously soul-searching her own marital challenges. Law enforcement life involves shift work, missed family events, trauma response, bottled emotions, high risk, fear of sudden widowhood and much more. In 2011, Victoria’s book “A CHiP on My Shoulder” was published, and it opened the door to her hearing more and more stories. With other law enforcement wives, Victoria founded H2LOC, offering marriage retreats, the Home Watch Spouse Conference, peer training, as well as books, videos, presentations, seminars, and even a 24/7 helpline. They address four stages of the career for the family: readiness (rookies), resiliency, recovery/restoration, and retirement.
One problem the law enforcement community must overcome, Victoria says, is the belief that officers should not be affected by the job. “There is a relentless stigma,” she says, “if an officer admits they’re struggling, they’re considered weak. Cops expect themselves to see 200 to 300 traumatic situations in a 20- to 30-year career and not be affected.”
Not only must expectations like this change, but one of H2LOC’s goals is to bring families out of perceived isolation, into a greater community of people who can relate and share resources. “Many law enforcement families have no idea their experiences are very normal within the police community,” says Victoria. “They have no prior knowledge of how this career can tear a human down. Our organization’s purpose is to provide a safe learning zone for families, looking at this life realistically, but positively.”
H2LOC is working to ease the emotional toll of police work by providing a supportive network of connection and resilience. H2LOC's mission becomes even more essential—helping those who protect and serve to survive and thrive in their professional and personal lives. For more information about this impactful organization, visit h2loc.org.
Pull Quote:
One of H2LOC’s goals is to bring families out of perceived isolation, into a greater community of people who can relate and share resources.